Attachment and being attached is a very real human need. Being attached and feeling secure in safe relationships that don't easily go away is key to mental health. It's a basic human need. Being to independent, isolated, alone leads to depression and anxiety. While relationships are full of mis-attunements, safe people repair and own their part in the issue and assure each other "I'm here". And when the people we love and whom we are attached go away either for a short time or forever it hurts and we grieve. However, we still need to be attached, it's a need. Relationships are always a risk, at times they all hurt us. If we let the fear and pain of mis-attunements or the fear of grief due to the loss of friendship and or love guide our relational style, then we may hold back, be too independent. And that is not healthy either. There needs to a be balance. and we need more than one person in our inner circle to lean on. All relationships end. And we need some coping skills to manage the grief, and we need support when they do. We need each other, even when we have a good sense of self, and have good self esteem. It's vital. "We need relationships like we need oxigen".
