Disturbed
(An investigative, romantic and psychological thriller)
By
Kotra Siva Rama Krishna
“There were so many women in my life after your mother’s death.” Viola read and is now looking into my face again.
“Never” with firmness in my voice I said.
“Your mother is not a good woman. She has illicit relationships with other men.”
“Never, never, never” I said with the same firmness in my voice.
“I murdered your mother. Hers is not an accident.” Reading that out Viola gasped “Oh, my god! I cannot read anymore.” That is the page end. Without turning the page Viola said handing over the book to me.
“There are not anymore either. I have to think of.” Taking that from her hands I am saying. “You just don’t know how much painful this is to me.”
“Oh, please Dazzle. Don’t torture yourself so.” Putting her hand around my shoulders Viola is saying to me. “Somehow or other that detective finds that out. You don’t trouble yourself like this.”
“You are right.” I nodded my head.
&&&
“Nathaniel? Chuck? Why you both are here?” I am shocked finding them both. I am in my bedroom at that time.
“You have forgotten about us both.” Nathaniel angrily said. “You are not thinking about us at all. So we both have come here for you.”
“You both are dead. Nathaniel you died a long time back.”
“Yes, I died a long time back. In a terrible motor accident. But you did not come to see me on that day.”
“I am sorry. I felt fear to look at a mutilated body.” I am feeling intense fear.
“Why? Even mutilated, it is my body. If you have died in such circumstances I sure would have come to see your body, however terrible it had become.”
I am shuddering imagining my body in such condition.
“Why did not you come to me after my death?” it is Chuck who is also looking angrily at me.
“You are a rogue and scoundrel. Why should I come to see you?”
“Why you are saying me a rogue and scoundrel? I told you the truth.” There is distress in his face.
“When you have told me the truth? After a long time. After we have involved so much with each other.” I am angrily saying. “But then too you did not tell me the full truth. You said that your wife and you were divorced and living separately. But you both were never divorced and always lived together. Is it is not true?”
“But we loved each other.”
“I never loved you. Even I was having any love on you it was vanished after I came to know the truth about you. You……….” I am fuming now with angry and trying to say something more.
“We explored each other’s bodies. We enjoyed sex so much together.” As if he does not hear whatever I said he is saying. “For that in fact you continued your relationship with me for a considerable period of time.”
I am not saying anything now. I don’t know what to say. There is truth in what he is saying also.
“You did injustice to both of us Dazzle.” It is Nathaniel now.
“Shut up. I did not do injustice to anyone.” I angrily yelled.
“You did not think about me at all after my death.” He said once again.
“Why do I think about you? Only for your sexual pleasure you lured me into that.”
“As if you did not enjoy it at all.” Nathaniel is saying sarcastically. “Say don’t you enjoy it a lot? Don’t you come to me many a time for that?”
“You have done that to my friend Viola also.” I am saying with the same fury. “You call it love now to me and Viola also.”
“You don’t love anyone but we have to love you!” Nathaniel also is angry now. “You can have it from any number of people but I have to limit myself to you.”
“Nathaniel is absolutely right. How do you leave someone and go to another just for sex if you are having any love like thing in you?”
“Shut up. Why do I love either of you? Nathaniel wanted only my body. You wanted my wealth also in addition to my body. Is it is not true Chuck that knowing fully about me you trapped me so to get a hold on my properties, is it is not true?’
“No it is not so. Why you are thinking like that? Then and now also I want only you.” Chuck is angrily yelling.
“Me also. I loved you Dazzle. With love only I did all that to you.” It is Nathaniel.
“Then why did you do that to Viola also?” I am angrily yelling.
“Forget about that Viola. We both are here to look after you very well. We are going to take you to our world. You have to come with us.”
“No, I don’t come anywhere. I don’t come anywhere.” I am yelling loudly. “I don’t come anywhere.”
Nathaniel is coming to me slowly. After reaching me, he put his both hands on my shoulders and shaking them violently.
“I don’t come with you people. Take off your hands.”
“Dazzle. Its me. Open your eyes.” Then I opened my eyes and looked straight. Menaka is opposite to me anxiously looking into my face. “Its me Dazzle. No one else. Please calm yourself.”
“Oh, what a dream!” I exclaimed and saying. “It is all lifelike. Until now I thought all it is true!”
“Dreams are like that. Until we come out of the dream they are real. Dreams are subconscious thinking.” Menaka is relaxed now seeing me like this.
I sat on the bed and breathing deeply to relax myself. While hissing out I looked into the face of Menaka. “It is Nathaniel and Chuck. They came to take me with them.”
“They both were dead. Were not they?”
“Yes they were dead. I don’t know how they both know each other. Nathaniel died a long time back in a motor accident to my acquaintance with Chuck………”
“And Chuck died with heart attack. Anything is possible in dreams. Nathaniel and Chuck together is only your subconscious imagination.” Menaka completed for me. “Quite a good riddance for you.”
“I must agree to this.” I nodded my head and am saying. “I just don’t know why I have got a dream like this!”
“We never can say why do we get such type of dreams. Of course there is a science to study dreams. I think it is Sigmund Fruid experimented and analyzed on dreams.”
“So if we read the books on dreams we may know why I have got this dream.”
“May be. But I am not sure about that.”
Then I have explained to her about the dream I have with my dad in it. How my dad asked me to save him and how I failed in that.
“That is also just a dream. Don’t break your head for it.”
“But there is a particular science for dreams…..” I am saying but cut off by Menaka
“There is no necessity to go to such lengths with these dreams. In my opinion dreams prove nothing. They are just automatic and accidents. It is always better neglecting dreams.”
“But I cannot convince myself so. May be there is some message in the dreams I have got.”
“Never.” With firmness in her voice Menaka is saying. “Even however many scientists say I do never believe that dreams bring messages. It is just automatic thinking of our subconscious. I shall prove how the dreams are not important at all now itself.” She paused for a moment and curiosity picked in me and I am looking into her face interestingly.
“Whenever you have caught up yourself thinking about something you don’t intend at all and surprised yourself why you are thinking about that?”
“Sometimes of course.” I have to agree. “I find myself thinking about something which has no connection whatsoever with me and wonder myself why I have started thinking about it.”
“If it happens while you are awaken you simply struck it as unnecessary thinking and don’t probe in it. It is in fact your subconscious thinking without your intention. But your subconscious mind works more while you are not in deep sleep. It thinks this and that without your intention and without any logic and all those appear as pictures just like a movie. As your conscious mind is not awake at that time you take it as real.”
“Good explanation! But why I am seeing pictures also. Why it does not just a conversation? Thoughts are just like inner conversation.”
“Not at all.” Menaka nodded her head in negation. “If you start thinking about something, after sometime you start seeing pictures. Suppose you start thinking about your father. After sometime you see him in flesh and blood in your mind. You can feel his presence. You cannot think without feeling the presence of the things in your mind. So it happens seeing things and feeling them in our dreams. But as the conscious mind completely disappears during dreams, they appear lifelike.”
“Wonderful indeed! I must say you studied your graduation with psychology.” Really her analyzing skills are admirable.
“No. I used to know a psychologist by name Niranjan. He was a great professor in psychology. I came to know all this from him.”
“You are using past tense. What happened to him?”
“He committed suicide for certain reasons. It is indeed a long story.”
“Even psychologists also commit suicide!”
“Don’t think all those who committed suicide are low in intelligence or thinking. Sometimes very great people also commit suicide.” Menaka is saying. “I have come to acquaint with him while I was helping my uncle with a suicide mystery. I do tell all about that later.”
“All right.” I nodded my head.
&&&
“I am positive to complete this assignment within the time I said I complete.” There is confidence in the face of Smaran.
“But I just don’t know how you are going to complete that fast. Already ten days or so passed. Have you found out anything so far?” I am feeling irritation. I just don’t know how he is feeling confident like that.
“I keep my word Miss Dazzle. You just feel relaxed. Ask me if I don’t complete the task within that time.”
“That means you have come to hold of an important clue so far. Otherwise you don’t feel confident like this.” looking interestingly into his face I said.
“I am not going to say anything now Miss Dazzle. But I promise you I complete my assignment in the time I have promised to you.”
“Alright then.” I nodded my head.
“Now I have come here to discuss about the matters you shared with Menaka.” Leaning back in the chair Smaran said.
“What matters?” I asked him with surprise.
“Those your experiences in bathroom and….with Nathaniel and Chuck…..” Smaran is saying. “You told about those to me also but you did not describe them in full with me. You just gave some hints, little narration. You did not tell me in detail.”
“Oh, Menaka said about those to you already!” I am feeling shame once again as I felt while I was discussing about them with Smaran previously.
“I understand you cannot freely discuss about them with me. That was the reason why you did not tell me about them fully and in detail in our first meeting.” Smaran said.
“Thanks you understood.” I am saying irritating in myself. “How you are thinking that I can discuss about those matters in detail with you now?”
“Miss Dazzle….” Smaran paused for a moment before continuing. “I am thinking they are very important part of our mysteries. You need not describe them in detail. I have come here for a confirmation. So you have such experiences….lifelike ….with that Nathaniel and Chusk…”
I am feeling terrible shame and I know my cheeks turned deep red.
“I am very sorry that I have to embarrass you like this…. But….” he is saying.
(I hope that you enjoyed upto here. I shall publish the next chapter as soon as possible. Please don’t forget to rate and review.)
