Disturbed
(An investigative, romantic and psychological thriller)
By
Kotra Siva Rama Krishna
“You should not be remained as an ordinary girl. You are going to be responsible for all our businesses. You know how many people depended on us.” He often said that to me and those words went too deep into me.
Dazzle should not feel fear. Daughter of Thomas Penkins, who is the owner of his huge conglomerate, should not feel fear. I am not having a chance of feeling like an ordinary girl. From my birth itself I am extraordinary. Our huge wealth made me like this.
I know the people who envy for the position I am in. But they just don’t know how much I detest at what I am now. I don’t want wealth. I don’t want this status. I don’t want any attention. I don’t want to be glamorous as I am now. All I want is, I want to have the freedom that a girl of my age does have. I want to move freely as a twenty six years ordinary girl moves. I want to dream like an ordinary girl dreams. I want to look forward eagerly for a bridegroom whom my parents select for me. But there is no chance to me to do anything like that.
When I poured my feelings to Viola on one day she said. “How mistakenly you are thinking! You just don’t know how much fortunate you are! How the girls around you want to change the place with you if it is possible! How much I am willing to change my place with you!”
“I also want to do the same if it is possible. It is not just wealth and opportunities to enjoy. But lots and lots of burdens. Becoming responsible for many and many lives. I cannot bear any of these.”
“Oh, I just don’t know what to say.” Viola hissed out heavily.
“If anyone wants to know how much I am suffering they should be in my place.” I said.
“If you want to know how an ordinary girl feels with little richness, not much opportunities to enjoy, you should be in her place.”
Both of us know neither of what we have said is possible. Now I am feeling heavier. Slowly I am witnessing the thoughts becoming slackened. I am feeling relaxed. Before I enjoy that relaxation for long………..
&&&
“You are not your usual self on this day also.”
I turned my head and looked into my aunt’s face. The concern in her face moved me. I am not intended to tell her my yesterday’s experience. I hissed out heavily and said. “I disturbed a little on yesterday’s night.”
“But why?” she asked me again.
“She is thinking too much about her father and what he wanted to discuss with her.” Williams said.
“Is it is so?” inquiringly looking into my face my aunt asked.
“Yes, of course.” I don’t want to say my yesterday’s experience with them at all. Even saying like this also is little troublesome to me but I cannot find anything else to say then.
“Oh, my god! When can you stop worrying about that?”My aunt said.
“You are too much obsessed with those thoughts sis. It is not good. You should come out of that mood and try to be usual.” Williams said.
I looked into his face and smiled. “I sure do try.”
“Viola said she would come to our house just in one week or so.” After a small pause I said again.
“It is indeed great news!” My aunt said. “I always like that girl with us. She can make the environment so happy all the time.”
“Moreover” my brother Williams said “She sure can change your mind. In fact her presence is quite required in our house now.”
“I am also thinking like that.” I even don’t notice that I am taking my breakfast. I am quite unmindful of the things around. My mind is completely occupied with the yesterday’s experience.
“You may better take rest in the home on this day. You are appearing tired and disturbed.” It is my aunt.
“I shall see how my mood would be after bathing. If there is no change in me, I sure do prefer to stay at home itself.”
&&&
I completed my bathing, dressed myself, am ready to go out of the house, get into the car to go to the office. I am hearing some sound and it is calling bell. Someone has come to our home. While I am busy in guessing who it can be, someone went near to the doors and opened them.
I just cannot believe my eyes! My heart instantly filled with pleasure. It is Viola.
“Oh, Viola” I dashed off towards her, hugged her strongly and kissed on her left cheek.
“By this I can understand how much you are starved for my company.” With a smile on her lips Viola said.
“You are absolutely right.” I said. “But as per your saying, I am not expecting you for one week or so.”
“I want to give you a surprise. So I have told you like that.”
“You naughty….naughty….” I pinched strongly on her shoulder and she yelled in pain.
“Anyhow it is indeed a very pleasant surprise. Come into my room. We do talk there.”
Just in seconds we both are settled in my room. While we are coming into my room I beckoned a servant to come after us and she came.
“Prepare her usual room in our house for my friend. Take this suit case into her room. She should not feel any un-comfort here.” I said to her.
That servant maid nodded her head and took the suitcase with her.
“Now tell me. What is the matter? How everything is with you?” I asked my friend.
“The same thing I do want to ask you, Dazzle. How you are feeling? How everything is with you?” with frowns on her forehead, Viola asked me.
“Why you are thinking like that? Why do I feel in a different way at all?” I asked her surprisingly.
Viola breathed deeply and hissed out heavily. “I said to you I have a psychic link with you. Because of our close friendship and intimacy I am managing it like that. If you are not feeling well for anything, I can know about that. If you are in any danger I can know about that also. Recently……….” She paused for a moment as if to accentuate whatever she is going to say. “My subconscious is giving me signals that you are in some danger. I am very strongly feeling that you are in danger. That is the main reason for my coming like that. Now tell me what is the position? How everything is with you now? If you say my feeling like that for you is just my imagination and you are in all respects fine, I do feel so happy.” Looking into my face straight, Viola said.
I am shocked! How exactly Viola can know about my situation! That means am I really in danger? Are the dream, my experiences recently insinuating that?
“What you are thinking? Just tell me whatever it may be. I never let any danger befallen on you.” Quite intently looking at me Viola said.
“First you take your bath, finish your breakfast and settle yourself. Then we do talk each and everything.”
Viola nodded her head and got off from the bed. “I shall be back just in minutes.” Saying so, she went out of the room.
&&&
“I don’t know how much you are right. I cannot say whether I am in danger or not. But I am feeling a little different recently.”
We both are in my room now. We both sat facing each other on the bed. Viola freshened up like a flower. I have decided to stay at home and postponed the idea to go to the office. I phoned to George and said the same to him. Once he knew that Viola is with me, he did not force me to come to the office. He knows very well how much better and intimate friends Viola and me are.
“What that means? How you can say that you are feeling different?” frowns gathered on the forehead of Viola.
“Occasionally I have been hearing sounds. Strange sounds. At present I am not hearing sounds but I heard them. Now, a little differently….” Then I explained to her about my experience in the bathroom. Viola listened carefully whatever I am saying to her.
“I am not seeing anything sinister in this. It might be just your imagination.” Frowns on her forehead are cleared.
“But I felt it so life-like. If it was just my imagination, I could know it was imagination.” I said irritatingly. I don’t know how to convince Viola that it was not my imagination.
“Alright. We shall consider about it later. Any other experiences like this to you?”
I explained to her my hug experience near the fridge while I was trying to drink water.
“In your opinion, it was Nathaniel Zimbra?” once again frowns gathered on her forehead.
“Hundred percent. He said so to me also.”
“But Nathaniel Zimbra died eight years back or so I think.”
“He became a devil. He came as a devil into my home.”
“You are thinking that the devil of him hugged you near the fridge! And it said that it was Nathanial Zimbra!”
“You are right.” I nodded my head.
“In what age we are now Dazzle? Are you believing in devils?” looking straight into my eyes, Viola asked me.
“In before I too did not believe in devils. But now I have to.” I am feeling quite helpless.
“My god! What is this?” I am seeing a troubling expression in Viola’s face and it is creating tension in me.
“Is it is a sign for anything dangerous?”
“Tell are there any other experiences like these?”
Then I told her about my dream. Even before I complete it, Viola burst out in laughter.
“Why you are laughing like that?” instantly I became angry. “Is there anything funny in this?”
“Not, of course.” She paused and said. “But it can be understood. Dreams like these are not unnatural. You are thinking too much about your dad, so you have got a dream like this.”
“But…. You don’t know how peculiar it was….how much distressed I was in the dream.” I am saying. “Dreams are not new to me Ola. But I never have got a dream like this before.”
“You are now exposed to a situation never you have been. That may be the reason for this strange dream.”
Viola’s explanation is not satisfying to me. “But why I was naked? Why I am in that sand? Is there no meaning at all to it?”
“Oh,” Viola hissed out. “A dream is nothing but subconscious thinking, Dazzle. You have imagined all that unknowingly.”
“I cannot agree with you at all that I do imagine anything without my knowledge, against my will.”
Viola breathed deeply. “I have to give you a big lecture to make you understand that.”
“Then give me that big lecture to make me understand.”
“First you have to understand one thing here. You are separate from your mind. You are not the mind. Your mind has a separate identity and has its own nature.”
“I never can understand this. How I am different from my mind? If I am different from my mind what I am then?’
“This is a very difficult question to answer. For the present, stop questioning what you are if you are not the mind. Just understand your mind is different from you.”
“Alright, alright. My mind is a different entity. What then?”
“It is difficult to understand why mind sometimes thinks, imagines in a specific way. I said it has its own nature. That nature cannot be understood every time.”
“Until that dream, I never have thought differently, peculiarly. I mean my mind did not think differently and peculiarly. Even now too my thinking is normal. Only I have got the dream like that.”
“I said dreams are nothing but our subconscious thinking.”
“We are here discussing about our minds. Not subconscious thinking.” I am feeling different arguing like this with Viola. It is really created a new sort of interest in me. Even we both have discussed many a thing till now, it is the first time to us to have a discussion like this especially on mind.
(I hope that you enjoyed upto here. I shall publish the next chapter as soon as possible. Please don’t forget to rate and review.)
