Disturbed
(An investigative, romantic and psychological thriller)
By
Kotra Siva Rama Krishna
Viola hissed out heavily.
“Why do we quarrel like this? Even I have got my love back on him there is no use now. He is dead. In fact I did a very nice thing severing all my emotional ties also with him. Otherwise I would have to worry about him a lot on this day.”
“That much is true.” Viola strongly hugged me and kissed on my cheek again.
&&&
I opened my eyes and looked hastily around. Yellow lighting spread everywhere and I am all alone in my room. Viola is sleeping in the room allotted to her and she always uses that room whenever she comes here. My heart is beating speedily and I am feeling tensed.
Why I woke up like this? I closed my eyes and tried to remember. However hard I am trying I cannot remember anything at all. But I was disturbed while I have been sleeping. For what I was disturbed I cannot remember.
Chuck, I suddenly remembered. Now I faintly remembered even not full. I have got a dream about Chuck. I am sure emotionally I am not attached even a little with Chuck. Even while I was feeling love with Chuck it was not complete. All the time something inside me was saying that Chuck was not correct for me. I have got the signal all the time that there was something wrong in my relationship with Chuck. When I came to know about Chuck’s marriage it was confirmed.
Chuck tried a lot that he has no connection whatsoever with his wife and they both were divorced. I did not mind much about the fact that Chuck was married and divorced. But I mind much his concealing it like that from me for such a long time. I did not feel anger towards Chuck but my love towards him was evaporated completely and I cannot show any interest in him from then onwards.
But what really made me attracted towards Chuck? I felt shame and I know my rose color cheeks turned crimson. He was excellent in satisfying my bodily urge. Every time he did that to me he got my guts out. He knew the wonderful art of how to make a woman completely satisfied in sex. There may be any other reason for his difference with his wife but it could not be sex.
My god! What type of a woman I am? Am I a sexual maniac? I always felt strong sexual urge in me and sometimes quite unbearable. I have discussed this matter with Viola also.
“Is there any wrong with me? Why I am feeling in this way? Sometimes I just cannot bear the urge at all.”
“Quite natural. I also feel in the same way sometimes. Don’t worry about it much. If you worry unnecessarily whether you are a sexual maniac, the urge also becomes more and more. If possible…..” she looked meaningfully into my eyes and said. “get it satisfied whenever you get the opportunity.”
“My god! What you are talking? It is quite immoral getting it satisfied without a marriage.” I indeed shocked on hearing her so. We both were aged just sixteen years or so by then.
“Don’t think that I have not known about your sexual affairs with Nathaniel. How many times he might do that to you by now?”
I felt an instant anger in myself. “Shut up.” I yelled. “Don’t talk like that.”
“Then tell me he did not do that to you even for once till now.” Mischievously looking into my eyes she said.
I did not talk anything then. Nathaniel and I took every care that no one knew about it. But Viola came to know about it. How many other people knew about it? I did not think anyone else either. If anyone else knew about it that they just would not let it continue. By that time I was liking it very much. I involuntarily remembered then the recent experience with him. It was after I became a woman but I was still a minor then. Oh, my god! My whole body is sweeping with pleasure now also remembering that first time experience with Nathaniel after I became a woman.
“He is indeed great in that, is not he?” continuing the mischievous look into my eyes Viola asked me.
Considering how he was doing that to me I must have to agree to that. But I said “I cannot say anything about that. Why you are asking so?”
“Now and then he is doing it to me also.”
I felt really different. Embarrassed. I am feeling embarrassed even now also thinking about it. He did it to both of us and he has it from both of us. There is no surprise at all a boy like Nathaniel did that two girls. But he did it to my close friend Viola also is creating a very different feeling in me even now too. Apart from us both, to how many other girls he did that I cannot know. If he had not died like that on that motor accident how our relationship would be on this day I just cannot think.
Chuck Watson! Once again his thoughts are invading me cruelly. I still can remember very well the day he was introduced to me. I completed my M.B.A. and looking after some business work entrusted to me by my dad in USA. Because of that work I have to stay in USA for a considerable period.
Chuck himself came to me and introduced himself. He was working on behalf of a very big organization. He attracted me on the very first day itself. He was very handsome in fact. For one week or so we just talked. I started liking him. I found that Chuck also was having interest in me. There was no surprise that he was showing interest in me like that. I know that lot many people were showing interest in me. It was just because I am that much glamorous.
After one week or so, we took our dinner in a hotel together and he came with me into my room.
“You are indeed having a very excellent taste. Your room also is appearing quite beautiful just like you.” Chuck said.
“Are you really feeling like that?” with a smile on my lips I asked him. In fact it was my servants there who kept my room like that.
“Yes, of course.” A smile crossed his lips and he was appearing very much handsome to me. I could understand how I was appearing in my transparent dress to him. As I was just observing him like that he came near to me.
“Beautiful indeed!” I felt his hand on my hip. After Nathaniel he was the only person who touched me like that and who created interest in me so. But I felt surprise as he dared like that. Some part in my mind urged me strongly to remove the hand forcibly from there, gave him a warning and put a stop to any furtherance of such relation with him. But the major part of my mind was not in a position to heed that warning.
“You are also…..quite handsome.” I mumbled. Suddenly I started feeling thrill.
“Not as much as you are. You are incomparable darling.” He at once dragged me strongly towards him. I just pulled onto his chest. Then I have no intention whatsoever to retaliate or deny whatever he was doing.
I did not know when but my both hands were around his waist. Before I comprehend what was happening I felt his lips on my lips. It was not the first kiss to me and Nathaniel also kissed like this. But this handsome’ kiss was tasted different and a pleasure wave swept through my body. He made me walked towards the bed and laid me on it as gently as possible.
We are in India and a very long time back itself our family converted to Christianity and in almost all the ways we are following Christian traditions. I am also following only Christian traditions except in dressing. I don’t know why but most of the time I dressed in saree and blouse. I saw my mother also in such type of dressing in the photographs and my aunt too.
“You have got different sort of beauty in this dressing. Quite peculiar! I am not seeing this way of dressing anywhere here.” While struggling himself to undress me he said.
“You should come to India to see this type of dressing.” I was feeling pleasure with the rough touch of his hands on my body.
Oh, my god! My mouth became dry remembering my experience with Chuck on that day. He did that as much better as Nathaniel did that to me! Both were experts in doing that! On many occasions afterwards also we satisfied each other’s urge. I was always in a dilemma whether I was in love with him or not. He was handsome, he was making me terribly satisfied in sex but I could not feel emotionally towards him at all. But I did not know why, when I heard that he was married already, I deeply hurt and severed all my connections with him. My pride was wounded but I did not feel upset after severing my connection with him. I said to him quite clearly that it was not possible to me to continue my relationship with him. It has not become difficult to me to forget about him completely. But the starvation of sex pained me a lot and it is paining me no less even now also.
Even after I came to India, he phoned to me and talked with me occasionally. He said he divorced and living separate from his wife for a long time. I could excuse him but did not feel any interest towards him. Only his occasional phone calls reminded me about him. While I have been struggling myself with my dad’s death and other things it has happened like this.
The memories of Chuck making me feel fear. Nathaniel had sexual relationship with me and he died. He became a devil and came to me. This Chuck also had sexual relationship with me and died. Would this Chuck also come to me as a devil like Nathaniel? Why two young men who had sex with me died like that? At quite a young age! I cannot understand how and why a thirty four years aged young man like Chuck got heart attack.
I closed my eyes and am breathing deeply to relax myself. But I cannot sleep as I have been many times recently. I am feeling a sort of uneasiness in myself. I am trying to remember what Viola said to me to sleep peacefully. Yes, I have got successes. Viola’s words perfectly came into my mind and I am forcing myself to implement them. Slowly I am finding that uneasiness is clearing itself and giving way to peaceful and blissful…..sleep.
&&&
“I forgot to tell you something.” I am enjoying the coffee in the hall and said to Viola.
“Tell me what it is?” it seems Viola is also enjoying hers. I can see a satisfying and happy expression in her face.
“I got a wonderful secretary for me. Nova Harrison her name. She is having wonderful qualifications also.”
“Unlike your previous secretary. I think you faced lot of trouble with her.”
“You are right.” I am making slow sips of my coffee. “I would have ousted her if she herself not decided to resign the job.”
“I want to meet with this new secretary. I come with you to your office.”
“I want you to come with me everyday to my office.” Viola’s company with me always is really very desirous to me.
“I planned to stay with you for a long time. So don’t worry.”
I am observing Viola. Viola is indeed attractive, youthful. She has revolutionary ideas and she takes sex also in an easy way. I found her spending time with one or two guys.
“Don’t mention about my sexual affairs. How do you feel having it like this before marriage?” on one day I asked her.
(I hope that you enjoyed upto here. I shall publish the next chapter as soon as possible. Please don’t forget to rate and review.)
