Trembling Shadows
A romantic, psychological thriller
Kotra Siva Rama Krishna
“Just because of the illegal intimacy your father has got with Malathi you are saying that your family is rotten, is it is not?” Aravind asked her.
“Not just that. My mother as well is so. She had got pregnancy without a marriage and got aborted the same. Killing an innocent child in the stomach is more sinful than getting pregnancy without a marriage”
“Your mother got the pregnancy without a marriage of course” Sunanda said “But she intended to marry that person. He died with a heart attack. At the same time your mother did not choose herself to get the abortion. It happened so. It was not her mistake at all. My mother herself conducted that abortion. My mother said this to me on one occasion in the past and I said this more than hundred times to you. Why everytime you say that your mother killed her child?”
“I cannot believe it” Sameera said.
“There is no necessity to me to lie to you. And there is no necessity to my mother to lie to me”
“If because of the illegal sexual affairs your parents became rotten to you what we are then for our illegal sexual intimacy on the upstairs?” Aravind asked Sameera looking into her eyes.
“We are going to be got married. At the same time neither of us married with someone else.” Sameera said.
“It does not change the status of what we have done dear. Just try to understand. Your parents are good people. They did so many good things. Just because of few wrong steps they have taken, they should not be considered bad. This same thing applies to Malathi aunt as well.”
“Aravind you are unnecessarily trying to support them. What they did, especially my father and this Malathi never can be excused.” Sameera’s voice was still harsh and angry.
“These mistakes are certainly excusable” Aravind said.
“Mistake is a wrong word for this. Wrong is the correct word. They have committed these acts deliberately. So they are wrongs, not mistakes. Quite willingly with full conscience they have committed these wrongs. How they can be excused?” Sameera was not compromised.
“In this I am supporting Aravind” Sunanda said. “If what you are thinking is reasonable to you I am also rotten and not fit to be your friend. I have that illegal sexual intimacy with some boys other than my husband before my marriage.”
“Don’t talk like that. You are not as matured as our parents and your mother then” Sameera did not want to lose the friendship of Sunanda. “And you stopped your illicit activites completely after your marriage.”
“I was major when I did most of the wrongs. Fully matured.” Sunanda laughed and said. “I am not supporting illicit sexual affairs. I am not encouraging them either. But when mistakes or wrongs relating to sex may be happened they need to be understood and excused.” she said.
“Exactly” they heard the voice of Vinod and turned back. He stood there with a smile as usual on his face. “You have proved to be my daughter. You already understood human psychology well. Why should not you study psychology just like I did?”
“Dad, I have not found you at all until you talk” Sunanda said
“As you people have that much immersed yourselves in discussing the vital issues, there is no surprise you did not notice what is around”
“But dad, are you really thinking what I have said is right” slitting her eyes Sunanda asked.
“Hundred percent my dear. Just like you I am too not supporting or encouraging illicit sexual affairs. But if mistakes or wrongs committed relating sex they need to be understood.”
“So the wrong my mother committed is excusable in your opinion?” with a twinkle in her eyes Sunanda asked.
“Why not it is? I am not a person to rule out a chance of excusing her since I too did wrongs”
“It is really a great thing to say that you too did wrongs” Aravind said.
“Can you talk with my father as usual then” Sameera asked him.
“Hundred percent I can. I have already forgotten about that”
“But I am not having that much of courage in me” coming near to them Rajesh said.
Vinod put his right hand strongly around his shoulders and said “Just forget about the past Rajesh. We can be as we are before”
Rajesh looked into the face of Vinod. It was even more painful to look at him than Tanuja. With his very wife he had got sex. How Vinod could excuse that? Could he excuse Vinod if he had sex with Tanuja? He thought in himself. Surprisingly he did not feel any anger.
“I am sorry dad.” Sameera said. “I should not have talked like that to you and mom” there came a change in her after hearing all that. She surprised in herself how she had forgotten the fury and hate pooled up in her towards her parents and that Malathi.
“There is no wrong on your part my dear. Parents wish their children should be like gold. But they don’t want to be like that. Before we want our children to be good, we need to be good. We should not have committed that wrong at all.” Rajesh said closing his eyes. It was so painful to him to confess before his daughter after beating her so.
“Rajesh I have asked you to forget about that” Vinod said. “We are going to start a new life. We shall start walking on a new path”
“Dad, will you allow mother to work in the uncle’s hospital?” Sunanda asked his father.
“Why not I am?” Vinod said. “There would be no change in that at all”
“No Vinod” Rajesh said. “After all this I am not thinking that it is better she work with me in the hospital”
“Don’t lose courage Rajesh” Vinod said. “You both will not do any more wrongs. I am quite sure of that”
“On thinking it seems correct to me too. I too felt that type of uncontrollable urge some times in me. If anyone suitable available to me I would have done that wrong. Only because none was available I remained pure. May be that urge compel married people as well to do wrongs sometimes. We need to understand. It is not just all the times parents excuse the children. Sometimes children too may have to excuse their parents.” Sameera said.
Rajesh looked at Sameera surprisingly. He could not expect that such a fast change in her. Just before he could understand why she had developed such animosity towards him and Tanuja. It seemed all that animosity and hate vanished from her in such a little time.
No one talked for some time among them. The darkness thickened even more as the sky once again clothed with black clouds.
&&&
After Rajesh left from the room Tanuja leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes. She was doing a futile exercise to forget what happened and trying to sleep. She was trying to be peaceful. She knew that she could not get what she wanted that easily. Her whole life had become topsy-turvy. Her own daughter revolted on her. Her husband turned out to be an immoral person who would not take a back step in satisfying his sexual urge with other women as well.
“Yes it is nice. It is just like we are in heaven”
“Is it is not wrong that we are doing this now? You are two years elder to me. There is no chance that we can be married to each other”
“There is no wrong. There is no necessity that we need to be got married for these types of small pleasures.”
“But I am feeling guilty. How your father will feel if he knows about this?” she could hear him saying while he was struggling in her suffocating hug.
“There is no chance that he would know about this. Just shut up and enjoy”
Tanuja sat bolt straight in the chair. The memory was like a whiplash to her. Why she had remembered that? It had happened more than thirty years or so back. But the memories were so clear. It was before she acquainted with Sasank. She has not become even a woman by that time and just having thirteen years or so aged. On that day she had got satisfied her urge with a relative aged sixteen years who came to her house in the absence of other people. She enjoyed that then. Now her conscience was questioning her, ‘is there no wrong at all if it is you?’ her heart beat was quickened. She was trying to make her mind clear from the past memories but they were not. They were haunting her like dogs.
“You may better get married rather than doing like this to me” on that day when she returned to home from the work place unexpectedly found her father and the neighboring woman on the bed. She was half naked under the weight of her father.
“Marriage is a different thing. I don’t want to give control to anyone on our lives.” While kissing passionately all over her face, her father said. Her big naked breasts were crushing under the naked chest of his father.
“But how long you can do this to me? My husband soon returns” she groaned while her father’s mouth kissing on her cheek. He did not answer that question. Just the action continued.
She was aged seventeen years or so then. Surprisingly she did not get any anger on her father. Instead she got an immediate urge in herself and wanted so desperately to satisfy it by someone. She could not remain peaceful until she satisfied herself with someone he knew who was known to her and of her age. It happened two or so years before her acquaintance with Sasank.
Her whole body filled with sweat. She realized that the evil of sex was everywhere. No one was an exception to that. Hating or developing anger on anyone just because a wrong he or she committed due to the uncontrollable sexual urge was a mistake. It was becoming difficult to her to form an opinion on that but slowly she had taken a decision and breathed deeply. Unintentionally she looked towards the bed.
She just could not believe her eyes at all. The old woman sat bolt straight on the bed and looking towards Tanuja. Her eyes were wide open and they were in crimson color. And then the yell that escaped from Tanuja’s mouth shook the whole building. It made all the people in that house rushed at once into that room.
&&&
“Why, what happened Tanuja?” Shaking her violently holding her shoulders Rajesh asked. His voice was full of anxiety.
“Just look at that. Look towards the bed” without seeing herself in that direction she directed her hand towards it.
“Grandmother is sleeping peacefully on that as usual. There is nothing else except that on it to see.” Looking on to the bed and confirming himself Rajesh said.
“Look clearly. She just sat on the bed and is looking towards me with wide opened eyes.” Tanuja’s voice was shivering with fear.
“Look yourself and know” Rajesh said holding her face with his hand and tried to turn it towards grandmother.
“No I cannot. I am feeling lot of fear to look towards her. She may kill me” Tanuja yelled.
“Just look at that side and then say that” Rajesh cajoled her. “No danger, we are all here. Look for once.”
Then Tanuja turned her head slowly towards grandmother. She was on the bed as usual. “But … But… just sometime before…” she tried to say something.
“You have imagined all that” Rajesh said
“No, it is not my imagination at all” she yelled with a small voice.
“It is alright then. You have not imagined.” Vinod intervened. “Rajesh it is better that we all go into our room and think.” Vinod said.
“What Vinod said is right. I have been encountered by Sasank also in this room itself. This room is not a safe place any more. We all may better go into Vinod’s room” Tanuja too suggested with a shivering tone.
Then all of them moved into Vinod’s room.
(I hope that you enjoyed upto here. I shall publish the next chapter as soon as possible. Please don’t forget to rate and review.)
