Trembling Shadows
A romantic, psychological thriller
Kotra Siva Rama Krishna
She dropped herself in the nearby chair and sighed heavily. Why all of them came here in this way? she questioned herself. She did not like the environment. The dislike she had got on the old woman was intensified even more after she had seen her on the bed so. Rajesh told Tanuja all that as much as he knew about his grandmother. Then itself she had formed an opinion on her. She thought that it would be quite better that her family never visited the old woman. But Rajesh started saying he had to see his grandmother. He said that they should come here and there was no other way. She tried her best to dissuade him from coming here. It was not like that he would not hear whatever she said. He was not a stubborn type. He always would hear reasonable explanations and change his opinions if necessary. But this time he did not hear her at all. He was stubborn this time. He was adamant that they should come here. She could not do any other thing except following him blindly here. She did not know whether they did a good or bad thing by taking all the other people as well with them. Anyhow, neither this place nor the old woman was appearing as good.
Unintentionally her mind brought back the memories of her first lover even she did not want to remember about him then. From the moment of her marriage with Rajesh she was trying to put aside the memories of her lover who was dead. But they were mercilessly invading on her sometimes. If that person was bad it would had been quite easier for her to forget him. But he was a good man, almost as good as Rajesh. That was why she could not put his memories aside.
How surprisingly and ghastly he was dead? She was beside him then. It was quite un-understandable to her. How such a young man died with a heart attack? She never had heard that a man such young died with heart attack. But her lover died. That too quite unexpectedly. He never had said that he was suffering from any heart disease. But the doctor said ‘He might have suffering from some heart disease. Otherwise death with heart attack would not come in this way at this age’. Her mind was not in a position to understand what the doctor had said. But the message received and stored somewhere in her mind to be analyzed some time later. Was her lover that heartless not to mention to her if he was suffering from some heart disease? Was he that callous to love her and made her love him back that strongly, vigorously even he knew that he would die quite soon with his heart disease? When her mind started to analyze the message given by the doctor these doubts assailed on her. No, her lover Sasank was not at all so. He had not loved her at all if he was suffering from some heart disease. Even he was suffering from something like that he might not have been known about that at all. Her Sasank was good. As much good as gold. She could not understand whether it was her bad luck or good luck that she was introduced with such two good men in her life.
After his death it was discovered that she had became pregnant by Sasank. There was not much mistake in Sasank in making her pregnant. With the hope that they both were going to be married soon, she encouraged Sasank to do it. It was quite enjoyable to both of them.
She did not feel bad when she had come to know that she became pregnant by Sasank. In fact she felt quite happy that something of Sasank was growing in her to remember him in future. Her father tried all his level best to persuade her to get it rid of. But she did not agree to that. Her father remained silent and helpless as he could not do anything at all in that regard. But it had happened like that. That abortion happened all by itself. Relieving her father from his pain but making her all the more depressed and remorseful.
She did not want to marry again. But her father pleaded with her. Only for his satisfaction and happiness she agreed marriage with Rajesh. But Rajesh was such a good man! She had got a very good opinion on Rajesh at the first sight of him itself. He made her forgot about Sasank in very little time. How she could forget about Sasank so? still it was surprising to her. After loving a man that deeply, that intensely, was it possible to forget him just because he was dead, just because she had married someone else? She opened her eyes and looked around. The climate was as gloomy and fearsome as it was before. There was no change in the old woman, not even a little movement in her limbs. How she could lay like that on the bed? Tanuja astonished. Was it indeed true that she had left the body here and gone somewhere else? She breathed deeply.
It was said that the old woman loved Nagaraju and married Semanthakam, was it true? Then why did she do so? Tanuja wondered. What type of circumstances led her to do like that? She heard that Nagaraju was a warlock and quite fond of black magic. If he was not good and like that, how the old woman loved him? Or was it just a rumor put in circulation by those who did not like her. Enemies would spread any type of rumors. There was no surprise if it was so.
She stood up and went near to the old woman. The white hair was loose and cascading on her face. The skin of the grandmother was quite white in colour. It was wrinkled and puckered. Her eyes went inside. There were holos on her cheeks too. Some of her teeth might have rooted out. She thought that the old woman’s age was certainly not less than hundred years. But one thing was clear. She might be quite beautiful while she was young. It was no surprise that the time had taken such a change in her appearance.
She came back to the chair and burdened it with her weight again. She leaned backward and closed her eyes. Again the memories of Sasank invaded her. Why she was remembering Sasank this many times on this day? However strong his love towards her might be and her love towards him, she could substantially put his memories aside after her marriage with Rajesh all these years. Even someties his memories invaded her, never she was this much tortured by his memories. She thought it was cheating to think about Sasank after her marriage with Rajesh. It was just like that her marriage with Rajesh appealed to Sasank as well, that his memories became quite minimum in her. But why on this day his memories invading her like this? she wondered.
Unwillingly and unintentionally quite against her wish, her mind took her into her past as long as her introduction with Sasank. Her father used to run a grocery shop. Tanuja was the only daughter to him. While she was ten years old or so her mother died. Her father did not try to remarry. She was all to him. Even he had got only her, the income he used to get on the shop was not much. They used to struggle for a living.
Then Sasank came to their village. He had got a job as a teacher in the Government school there. He was an orphan. He made that quite clear that there were no relations to him. He was not very much handsome but tall and manly. As everyone else, he attracted towards Tanuja at the first sight itself. Since Sasank was quite securedly employed in a Government job, Tanuja’s father had not seen any objection for the intimacy developed in between them with the hope that he could get the marriage of Tanuja with him performed.
The house he had taken on rent in that village was quite a small one. Even he could take a little big house than that he had preferred to take that small house only. She still could remember when she had first visited his home. How much he felt happy on seeing her in his home on that day! Those days were still recent of their friendship by then. After few days she had visited his house for the second time. This time it was not just a normal visit. There was a specific purpose behind it. She felt quite shy while she was going into his house then. He was not as much handsome as Rajesh. She could get even better person as husband as she was such beautiful. She was not much aged either. It was not all because of love that she agreed him. It was because that she could not wait longer for the male touch.
She startled at once. She snapped her eyes open and remained staring into the emptiness before her. Now too she was trying to cover her real intention to visit on him on that day. But her consciousness knew the answer all the time which she was trying to suppress. Yes, even consciously she could not agree with it, she accepted him only for that. He could not create that much love feeling in her in the beginning and she must agree with it. She already experimented with it with someone even before she became a woman and it was so tasty! So desperately she wanted that again and a man was needed. In fact, initially, that necessity made her near to him. Of course gradually she started feeling love also towards him. Once again mercilessly old memories invaded on her.
Her body ached for the touch of a man. It was so painfully asking for that. She felt fear that her father could not get her married soon. Since her father as well was liking Sasank, she thought he could be the answer for her bodily ache. On the second visit itself she thought that she could venture for that.
On that visit she so strongly expressed her desire to him.
“It is quite bad that we have it before our marriage, you know? Why should not you wait some more days and we can have it freely and happily” after hearing that he said. But there was desire in his eyes also.
She hugged him strongly and kissed on his lips more with desire than love. “How good you are!” she muttered in his ear while biting it creating even more desire in him. “I am really very much fortunate that I got a person like you” She continued then with a shivering tone. “We are going to be married very soon. Why do we hesitate then?”
“If it is so, bedroom is the best place to do it.” She was successful in creating an irresistible desire in him. He led her slowly into the bedroom. She felt her legs shivered a little as the prospects of her desire to be fulfilled came that close to her. She did not know when she was gently laid on the bed by him. It might be quite first time to him too she mused in herself as his hands shivered while he was taking one after another of her clothes from her body. Just in minutes she had become completely naked in his hands.
While she was peeling his clothes away from his body, it appeared that he felt shy and awkward. It had become a little difficult to her to take away his undergarments as he started feeling embarrassing and tightened his hold on them. When she had put his hands on his drawer to remove he pleaded with her. “No, please leave it there”
“Why you have made me completely naked then?” while her cheeks blushed she asked.
(I hope that you enjoyed upto here. I shall publish the next chapter as soon as possible. Please don’t forget to rate and review.)
