Conflict of Emotions
(The emotional conflict of a girl towards her to be born sibling)
By
Kotra Siva Rama Krishna
“Is it is some indirect suggestion to me not to come to you from tomorrow onwards?” putting the carriage which she took along with her on the table, Sirisha said looking into the face of Manoj with a mocked serious expression.
“You understood it like that?” he knitted his brows together, came near to her and looked straight into her face. “Can you understand how much I am worrying that I don’t have the pleasure of your presence from tomorrow?”
“Really, really my presence is that much enjoyable to you?” her heart beat became fast as the conversation coming so near to put into action her plan. She came out of her house with a specific decision and the only problem to her now was how to express that to Manoj and how to make him to agree to it if he denied it.
“If you really don’t know about it, you must have some problem with your mind.” There was a different sort of expression on his face. “Can any boy remains without enjoying your beautiful presence unless he has some problem with his psyche or physic? Are not the boys flocking around you to make friendship?”
Sirisha laughed her mellifluous laughter and said “Of course, I know.” She paused for a second observing the exciting expression on the face of Manoj. “Sarath, the present friend of my friend Chandana, is indeed handsome and a sportive guy joined in our school in this year itself. He tried his level best to make friendship with me but I flatly denied and then he went after my friend Chandana.” She paused again and then said. “Yes, you are right! I am accustomed to crowding of boys around me to make friendship with me and the envy of the girls towards me.”
“Then how much fortunate I must be to have friendship with a beautiful girl like you!” he said with a happy expression but suddenly his face clouded with worry. “We still can manage to talk with each other and be friendly but we may not have this type of opportunity to be together only both of us and spend time. I am just feeling so much sorrowful as this day is going to be the last day for both of us to spend time like this.”
“You are absolutely right I agree.” Sirisha nodded her head and said. “Then why should not we make this time most memorable for all our lives?”
“I just cannot understand! How we can make it like that?” he knitted his brows together with full confusion in his face.
“By having it together!” she did not know what really made her to do such courageous act and she never has thought she could do something like that to a boy. Before he understood what was happening, her both hands were around his neck and her lips were on his right cheek with a little chirping sound and then she withdrew her lips but not her hold around him. “A full-fledged sexual intercourse between us both make this time most memorable to both of us.”
His whole heart was filled with shock when he understood what she really meant and when he tried to relieve her hold around him, she did not let him do that. In fact if he tried with his full strength he would have but he himself also not much interested to relieve himself from that delicious and marvellous hold of her.
“Have you lost your mind? You are suggesting that we do both have sex?” the shock was just so in his face. “I just cannot understand! I never have expected something like this from you.”
“Alright, you never have expected this and it is happening in your life now, what should be your reaction?” looking tauntingly into his face she asked him. “Just take me into your bedroom and have me in the best way you can. I just want to have full-fledged sex with you and I have that determination in before itself.”
“You are shocking me more and more by talking like this!” even it was so nice and enjoyable to him to be in her hold like that he did not forget about the possible consequence of it. “What if you do become pregnant?”
“Just for one time I don’t become pregnant!” really she wanted to become pregnant and hurt her parents but said. “Anyhow I do take a tab after that and you don’t worry too much about it.”
“I just can’t. It is like I am taking advantage of you!” suddenly there was guilty expression in his face.
“Once I myself have come to you for it, how it is that you are taking advantage of me? Don’t waste time, use this opportunity, you enjoy and make me joyous as much as possible.”
He would have resisted some more, his moral conscience would not have subsided into the background suddenly, if he did not feel her moist, smooth and silky lips on his lips in the immediate instant. The touch of her juicy lips was just like erased all his confusion and made him to come to a sudden decision. Without a second delay he also put his both hands around her, hugged her so tightly and when she tried to relieve her lips from his lips, he put his right hand on the back of her head, stopped her and took her lower lip into his mouth.
Then Sirisha remembered her friend’s saying that her exchanging kisses with Sarath. What type of experience or joy she has Sirisha could not understand but now while Manoj was chewing her lip like that it was just full joy! She put her both hands on the back of his head and just allowed him to do it like that and it was he who relieved her from that kiss.
“Once we came to the decision to have it; bedroom is the best place for it.” She just nodded her head when he said it and moved along with him like an automaton while he was leading her into the bedroom.
&&&
Sirisha heard about it, read about it and have a pretty good idea how couple has it together. Even she did not want, many a time her mind involuntarily imagined sexual intercourse with boys and she felt a sort of thrill and pleasure then. But when Manoj was dealing with her body the thrill and pleasure were completely out of proportion many times to the thrill and pleasure she has with her imagination. She prevented him from making her absolutely nude but when he himself took every cloth from his body, she has to allow herself to become completely nude in his hands. She used to feel lot of shame to become completely nude even before her mom but just in seconds after she became completely nude like that before him she stopped feeling awkward to display her nudeness full in before him. It would have been just like that for him also and moreover there was a little proud expression also in his face while displaying himself before her. She allowed him whatever he wanted to do and became an active participant herself also and something what surprised her was the steadiness and ease with which he dealt with her body. When they both were thorough with it, she not only has got the complete satisfaction of her urge but satisfaction for something she did to hurt her parents if it worked out.
“How you did it this beautiful?” kissing on his lips, hugging his naked body on the bed, Sirisha asked him. “I did not see even little confusion anywhere in you. It is just like that you know about my body more than I do. But my friend said there will be lot of confusion in a boy and he fails one or two times in before if it is the very first time to him.” She came to know about this piece of information also from Chandana who came to know about it from her cousin.
“I must be frank with you.” There was a hurt expression in his face. “I have this experience with one or two girls in before.”
“My god! True? But you talked like that!” Sirisha indeed surprised on hearing that.
“I really feel like that but when I was tempted so by the girls, I just could not refrain. I am very sorry.” The regretful expression was just so in his face.
“Never mind. You need not feel worry.” Sirisha got off from the bed and started dressing up herself.
“But Sirisha...........” he hastily got off from the bed and he also started dressing himself up. “............we have it together without any protection. What if you do get pregnancy?”
“I already told you that I take a tab.” By then she finished her dressing and was about to go. “You just don’t worry about it.”
“But dear, are you feeling regret for what we did? It is just like I took advantage of you. I should not have done that even you yourself advanced for it.” he said while buttoning his shirt.
She came fast, put her both hands around his neck and kissed on his both cheeks perfunctorily. “We want to make this day memorable to us for all our lives and we did it like that. We are not going to have it together unless we do become man and wife in future and for the present I have no serious idea to become your wife. From now on our concentration must be only on studies and we are just friends. Don’t expect even a kiss from me.” Then she relieved him.
“Don’t forget to take a tab.” While she was coming out of that place he said on the back of her.
“I asked you don’t worry about it.” she smiled and said without turning back.
He could not know how much she was wishing to become a pregnant to hurt her parents. But onetime having it together may not be enough for it. Anyhow she was feeling satisfaction for two things; one thing it was just like quenching her thirst of revenge on her parents by indulging herself in an immoral act like this; the second thing, she has got that much beautiful experience with Manoj and indeed she could remember it for her whole life.
&&&
Fifteen days or so have passed after Sirisha having it together with Manoj and she has forgotten about it completely. Even it has become quite difficult to concentrate on her studies with the obsessive thinking of her incoming sibling, she forced herself to do that and has become successful to some extent in it.
“I want to talk something with you.”
On that day while she was taking her breakfast on the dining table, her mom slumped down beside her in the other chair and said. It was after twenty days or so of their last conversation, her mom was talking with her again.
“Tell me mom.” Without looking into her face, continuing her taking breakfast like that, Sirisha said. “You don’t need permission to talk anything with me.”
“But presently you are so busy and don’t want to be disturbed at all.” Sanjana was just waiting for a change in the attitude of Sirisha but as it has not happened even days were rolling by, she took the decision to break what she and her dad decided to do. Abortion of her pregnancy would become difficult with further more delay.
(I hope that you enjoyed this story upto here. I publish the next chapter as soon as possible. Please don’t forget to rate and review this story)
