Conflict of Emotions
(The emotional conflict of a girl towards her to be born sibling)
By
Kotra Siva Rama Krishna
It was not so that Sirisha did not notice his struggle and it was not new to her that boys felt like that near to her and it just made her more thrilled! Putting a boy into trouble like that would always make her feel thrilled and she was having that thrill feeling now. But it was not just him observing her and feeling uncomfortable so. She was also feeling just like that while looking at his muscled and exercised body and the unintentional thought how it would be in his tight hug making her more and more uneasy.
“I know that you have a close friend. I saw her coming to your home on many an occasion.” He said again breaking the silence there. “I am feeling happy that you have forsaken even her also to talk with me for your time-pass.”
“I would have gone to her but she has a program with her boyfriend.” Sirisha said. “So I have to come here like this. Whatever you may think, I would have preferred to go to her if she is available.”
“Put aside what I do think.” Suddenly his face became serious. “I just cannot understand! What it is she has a program with her boyfriend? For a tenth class student having a boyfriend itself is quite unadvisable but she has a program also with him? What is that program?”
“Why you are feeling that much surprise in it?” the serious expression in his face then was quite troubling to her. “Almost all my classmates have boyfriends and even juniors to me also have boyfriends except me. What that much mistake in it?”
“I just don’t know in what type of school you are studying but friendship between girls and boys should be strictly prohibited. There is a chance it may lead to unnecessary eventualities.”
“May I know what are those unnecessary eventualities?” Sirisha knitted her brows together and the uneasiness in her has become even more. Even though she asked like that, it was not so that she did not understand what were they.
“I cannot have a discussion about that with you but can give you only one advice. Until completing your medicine, never make friendship with boys.”
“I just don’t know why you are saying like this.” She would have argued with him on that point but the expression in his face was very much serious and genuine. “In fact the boy who has recently become friend to my friend, has tried a lot to make friendship with me. When I have not encouraged him in that at all, he has chosen to make friendship with my friend.”
“There is no surprise at all as she is also an attractive and beautiful girl!”
“But I congratulated and encouraged her to make friendship with that boy, did I do a mistake?” Sirisha knitted her brows together.
“I cannot say but it is quite advisable that girls and boys don’t spend time together at this age. You are not a small child to explain what the danger if it is so.”
Sirisha’s cheeks were blushed on hearing that. Why could not she think like that and restrain her friend from making friendship with that Sarath? The usual way of her classmates behaving with the boys did not make her think so.
“They have a program to see a movie on this day.” Sirisha said “Anyhow I do put her into some caution. Ask her not to be too much friendly with him.”
“That is indeed the best idea!” nodding his head Sarath said. “Anyhow as you have taken such a decision, forget about it for the present. But don’t forget to put your friend into some caution.”
“Alright, alright.” Once again her laughter was mellifluous to him. “Anyhow you have no anger on me that you are my second choice? I came to you only as my friend is not available to me.”
“I am feeling so happy that I am atleast your second choice!” Sarath also laughed. “It is indeed a privilege to be of any choice to a beautiful girl like you.” Those words were quite inadvertently slipped from his mouth and her face was blushed on hearing that.
“I am sorry! I really did not know why I say like that!” he hastily said.
“Never mind!” once again her lips were filled with her charming smile. “It is just a compliment from a handsome guy. You are indeed handsome!”
When he heard that from her, he needed to put lot of effort not to show his sudden erupted happiness in his heart. He knew he was handsome, he heard that comment quite often from girls and boys also but hearing it from this beautiful girl was indeed different!
“Thank you very much!” he said with a small smile. “You have such an opinion on me.”
“Sometimes I just cannot suppress my feelings in me.” She was feeling surprise why and how she was talking like that with him but she was feeling thrill and happy to talk like that with him. “Moreover it may not be just I who said it like that with you.”
“Better we stop praising each other” with an uneasy feeling in him he said continuing the same smile. “Are there no other things that we can talk together?”
“There may be. But I just cannot think any of them now.” With uneasiness in her face Sirisha said.
“From tomorrow onwards, I have to be all alone in my home.” Suddenly with a worrying expression in his face, Manoj said. “Both of my parents would be out of station for a marriage ceremony and would not be back until one week. It is not the first time to me to stay all alone but it pains me to stay lonely.”
“I never have been left all alone in my home by my parents.” Her laughter was every time mellifluous. “Anyhow, don’t worry. I try to give you some company in the evenings if you don’t think that it would be disturbance to your studies.”
“It never will be so, it never will be so.” Nodding his head in negation, Manoj vigorously said. “Please don’t deprive me of that pleasure by thinking foolishly like that.”
After that they both talked some more time and suddenly Sirisha got off from her chair and said. “Now I have to go to my home. Don’t worry. I meet you again.”
&&&
Only in the playing hour on the next day Sirisha got the opportunity to spend time all alone with Chandana. She was about to caution Chandana about her friendship with Sarath but before she did that, Chandana said with a happy expression on her face.“Yesterday both of us spent time wonderfully. I just cannot say how much we both enjoyed together!”
“I want to talk something with you.” Pulling a serious expression into her face Sirisha said.
“Before that I want to say something very important to you.” Pretending a serious expression in her face also Chandana said. “After the movie we went to a restaurant for lunch. After lunch we went to a park. In the park after spending sometime in talking......” she paused for a second before saying “........we exchanged kisses.”
Sirisha’s face was filled with a horrifying expression. “My god! You allowed him to kiss you?”
“In fact, I kissed him first and he took the inspiration from me.” Chandana laughed. “After seeing such a romantic movie, I just could not help doing so. But you just cannot imagine how much thrilling and enjoyable it was that holding each other and kissing like that! If mere kisses were so, how would be that grand experience! But that park was not very much convenient place to have it.”
“Shut your bloody mouth! You could dare to such extent also? What happens if you become pregnant?” Sirisha angrily yelled.
“Don’t talk like a child. Just for one time experience nothing like that happens. Anyhow I can take a tab after that and it settles everything!”
“You shameless and impudent girl! Do you know what your parents would do to you if ever they come to know about it, especially your mom?”
It was just like that she got the thought only then and Chandana’s face has become suddenly fearful! “My mom would simply kill me if ever she comes to know about it. She gives lot of importance to moral values.”
“Then be very careful and don’t go to movies etcetera with him anymore. My sincere suggestion is stop your friendship with him forthwith. I just cannot understand why I have not discouraged you in the beginning itself.” Sirisha really felt very much surprising why did not she think like that until Manoj said so to her. She was too much disturbed with her incoming sibling onto the earth and could not think about anything in a proper way.
“But you know how most of the girls in our class and even our juniors also doing it. Some of them said that they have been having it with boys and it is so much enjoyable! They are taking precautions not to become pregnant.”
“We don’t think about other girls. We do think about ourselves only.” With firmness in her voice Sirisha said. “If you want to be remained as my friend, there should be no outings like that with Sarath. Your friendship must be confined to just talking! If I ever come to know that you are venturing to do immoral things, I just come to your home and say about it to your mom. Not just that, there will be no friendship between me and you from then on.”
“No please don’t say like that!” with sudden apprehension in her face Chandana said, took Sirisha’s right hand into her hands and squeezed that. “I don’t feel fear what my parents do to me. But I just cannot bear to lose a good friend like you.”
“I always do feel in the same way.” Sirisha relieved her hand from her hands, hugged her and kissed on her right cheek. “That is why I don’t take a back step to say like that to you even it puts you to unpleasantness.”
“Of course, I became somehow unpleasant in hearing what you said. But you are right! We must not indulge ourselves into immoral things taking inspiration from the other free girls.” After returning her kiss on her left cheek, Chandana said.
They talked in between themselves until they heard the school bell insinuating that the play hour was over. In that whole conversation Sirisha did not say anything even for once about her mom’s pregnancy and Chandana also has forgotten about it completely.
&&&
“Siri, dear! Can we both have little chit-chat in between ourselves?”
Rakesh has to go out of station again after his saying to Sanjana that he also would talk with their daughter about her incoming sibling. He returned only after two days and only in the night of that day, when his daughter was studying in her room, he could get the opportunity to talk with her.
“Of course, dad! Please sit.” Without any particular expression in her face Sirisha said and Rakesh slumped instantly in which Sanjana sat before to talk with his daughter.
Sirisha and Rakesh were more like friends’ rather than daughter and dad and they do discuss many things freely in themselves. But from the moment Sanjana’s pregnancy came into notice, they both were feeling uneasily to talk with each other. Anyhow without talking with him also, Sirisha could understand one thing! Her dad also would be quite favourable to that pregnancy.
(I hope that you enjoyed this story upto here. I publish the next chapter as soon as possible. Please don’t forget to rate and review this story)
