As a person who has changed many schools, making friends, fitting in, socialising was my cup of tea. It was easy for me to go into a room full of people and leave an impression. However, as I grew older, it became more difficult, especially when I was in 11th and I changed school again. I don't know why, but I was excited to start over, make friends, participate in council. I did all of that, but the world, and especially boys, don't like woman with strong morals, so when I stood up for various issues in my school, I received threats and backlash instead of support.
Although dealing with it all was difficult for me because I was young and inexperienced but I contacted the school administrators and principal who said, "When things get physical which they won't by the way, then come to complain." It was unexpected because she was a woman so I assumed she would understand, but she didn't. Instead things got worse. I was exhausted, the emotional turmoil was even more challenging and I was bullied to the point where I couldn't sit in class. I did what I could, and things did settle down at one point, but at the end of the day, I had no more school life left, and while everyone else was having fun in groups, I was sitting by myself.
Everything was fine, including my academics, but since humans are social creatures and need friends, which I didn't have. I did what no one else would do, rather than living in denial, I learned to cope up with the situation; being alone wasn't hard but it was hard to watch others have it all while I had to be by myself, so I chose a book called "The art of being alone" I think the first step in any scenario is admitting that "Yes this happened" - that something happened and it's acceptable. It was beneficial, I did learn a lot about my own emotions and how to face, accept, and deal with them in a healthy way.
Once I realised that, the path wasn't difficult, I just needed to learn how to be okay. This was challenging because I had to realise that there was a difference in showing that I was okay and actually being okay. I had to go back to step one, which was admitting that I wasn't okay and working on that emotion. I believe that working on one emotion at a time was easier for me than working on a thousand things at once. I believe that understanding your emotions is the best gift you can give to yourself because it not only favours you but also helps others. You might be wondering what I mean when I say "Working on emotion"
I mean think about a time in your life when you felt a certain way ( angry, sad, happy, etc) then think about what made you feel that way. The next time you find yourself in a similar situation, ask yourself if this is the same trigger, if yes then take a deep breath, recognize that this is your trigger, and learn a healthy coping mechanism. For instance, you may count backwards from 10 to 1 or begin reflecting on the positive things that have happened in your life. You'll feel more at ease. And put it into practice with every trigger you encounter.
Life isn't easy, and I understand that you may feel overwhelmed at times and it's okay to see a therapist when things get out of control and you don't know what to do....
it's a common misconception that only people with mental illness seek therapy, but in reality, anyone can reedit from it; it's like a routine checkup for your mental health
don't be afraid to ask for help :)
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