An untellable secret
(Some secrets may better remain secrets for ever)
Kotra Siva Rama Krishna
“You hypnotized me in the best way. I slept quite peacefully.” Nirmala said.
“I am feeling very happy that you liked it.” Menaka said.
“Nirupama used to hypnotize me just in this way.”
“Most of the hypnotists follow the same procedure to hypnotize.” Menaka laughed.
“I shall go into the kitchen and start my work now.” Nirmala got off from the sofa there and said.
“May I come and help you?” Menaka asked her.
“No. I work better without help. In fact, I don’t want Nirupama’s interference either in the kitchen.”
“If it is so, how we youngsters learn cooking?” Menaka complained.
Nirmala laughed. “I do conduct special sessions for you youngsters.”
Menaka proceeded into her room and fall on the bed there. It was ten in the morning and she felt bored.
When she looked up, she was looking at the ceiling fan to which Nirupama hanged herself. She did not like this assignment much. She was feeling overwhelming pity towards Ranganath and Nirmala. She was irritated as there was not much progress even after fifteen days or so of the assignment.
It was a little lead that they found out her writing like that but it was not much. Even before finding that itself, they assumed that Nirupama was struggling with something terrible and that led her to commit suicide.
She started looking carefully around the room with the hope that she might find something that would further lead to know that awful secret. In fact she searched everything in that room quite carefully two or three times. There were only her books, clothes and a dressing mirror. There was not much in her make-up kit and Menaka understood that Nirupama was a simple girl and not much interested in garnishing herself. Considering her in the photograph, Menaka thought that Nirupama did not need makeup. She was a natural beauty.
She was trying so hard to guess what troubled that much Nirupama to compel her to commit suiside but could not get a satisfying lead. She exhausted by thinking hard and stood up. She remembered the experience she has got in this room on her first day. She felt it so real on that day and feared that Nirupama was really in that room then. How real the imagination was then! She turned her head towards the wall on which Nirupama’s photo was hung.
She went near to the photo again. “So far we have found nothing concrete to know why you have committed suicide but I am confident that we can know about it.” She paused and looked at the photograph.
Menaka startled. It was as if there was life in the photograph and the living Nirupama was in it.
“If you are thinking we stop, you are mistaken. There is still time. In these ten days or so of time……….” She paused again as if to give reiteration to whatever she was going to say. “We hundred percent know about that secret.”
“Are you thinking that I do let that happen?”
Menaka froze. It could not be her imagination. It was so clear. She heard it. Menaka was in that room no doubt. She did not turn round with the fear that she might see Nirupama behind her.
She started feeling someone’s breath on her neck again. Someone was just behind her breathing on her neck. ‘Do souls breathe?’ Menaka could not understand. Her heart suddenly filled with lot of fear.
She slowly and slowly turned round only to find nothing.
***
While Smaran was in some routine work in his office on that day, he got the phone call from Sudarshan, the Librarian. Smaran could not remember him immediately so Sudarshan had to introduce himself.
“I am sorry. Tell me what is up now?” Smaran asked him.
“I cannot say this over phone. But if you come to me I do show it to you. It may be something important to your investigation I think.”
“If it is so then I shall come to you now itself.” Smaran said and cut the call. Then he immediately went to the library. There were only one or two people in the library at that time and Sudarshan was in fact waiting for Smaran.
“Tell me sir. What that is you want to show to me?” going straight and placing himself in the chair opposite to him Smaran said.
“Nirupama used to read English novels and took them home also. It is the novel she took her home on one or two occasions and I think it is the favorite novel to her.”
Showing that book to Smaran, the librarian said. It was Sidney Sheldon’s Tell Me Your Dreams. He remembered on one day that Menaka also said to him that she was reading that book. Smaran also read that book and he liked that. It dealt mainly with multiple personality disorder and there was no surprise if it was Nirupama’s favourite book. In fact this book was liked by all who interested in psychology.
“Alright. What is wrong with it then?” taking that book into his hand Smaran asked him.
“Just open that book at the folded page Sir.” Sudarshan said to Smaran and Smaran just did that.
“Can you find something written with some black pen on the top of the page on the left side?”
“Yes” Smaran said.
“Can you read what that has been written there?”
“Hundred percent. ‘It has been written ‘I want to pluck my eyes out.’” Puzzling in himself for that Smaran said.
“There is no doubt to me at all. It is the handwriting of Nirupama.”
“You are damn sure about this? Is there no possibility at all that someone else might have written this?” Smaran frowned.
“Not at all. It has been written only by Nirupama. I have seen her hand writing many a time. She used to write on the books and I scolded her not to do like that. I do well know her handwriting. There is no doubt at all.”
“I want to pluck my eyes out’. Why did she want to pluck her eyes out?” the frown on Smaran’s face was even more deepened.
“That is what I too cannot understand. Why anyone on earth want to pluck his or her eyes out?”
“She left another puzzle to us to solve.” Smaran said.
“Or is she indicating something to us?” Sudarshan asked.
“She is not indicating anything. She does not want anything to be found out about the reason of her suicide. It is something quite unintentional work by her. She had written this also quite involuntarily as she had written that thing on the wall.”
“What she had written?”
Then Smaran explained to him what had been found in Sukanya’s bedroom.
“There is no doubt now that she was suffering with something and that compelled her to commit suicide.”
“We have come to that conclusion even before finding her handwriting like that on the wall” Smaran said.
“Is it is so.” Librarian nodded his head. “Anyhow is this going to solve the riddle now?” indicating the book with his index finger Sudarshan asked him
“I am not sure.” Smaran said. “But we have got something more and we need to work with it carefully”
“If you don’t mind, may I take this book with me?” showing that book to Sudarshan, Smaran asked him after pausing few seconds.
“It is the library property. It should not be given like that to anyone.” Sudarshan said and laughed in the end. “But I know what you are doing and for which you are asking that book. Take it. I can manage.”
Smaran left the library with the book in his hand.
***
“Ever your daughter suffered with her eyes?” Smaran asked Ranganath who sat quite opposite to him.
As soon as he went to the office, Smaran called Ranganath to come to his office.
“I just cannot understand what you are talking.” Ranganath confusingly said.
“I do ask it in a different way.” Smaran said. “Ever your daughter suffered with any eye disease etc.”
“No. She never suffered with any eye disease. She need not wear even eye glasses. She has got perfect and beautiful eyes.” Ranganath said. He was still in confusion.
“Look at this.” Smaran opened that particular page in that book and shown the writing on the top of the left page.
“ ‘I want to pluck my eyes out.’ Rnganath read that out.
“Is it is your daughter’s handwriting?” Smaran asked him.
Ranganath observed that for sometime without talking anything. Then he said “Yes, it is my daughter’s handwriting.”
“Can you say why your daughter has written it like that there?”
Ranganath slowly put that book down on the table in the middle of them. “No I cannot” he said. “Why she left writings like that? Did she want to say something so?” he said again.
“No. she did not want to say anything by writing like that. Whatever had been written on that wall and in this book also were quite unintentional and involuntary.” Smaran said
“What made her written like that?”
“In fact she did not want to say anything to anyone. But something inside her, might be the suffering, her helplessness made her wrote like that. Some uncontrollable, involuntary and unintentional expressions.” Smaran said
“Anyhow I cannot say why she had written it like that. She is my daughter. But now she is appearing completely alien and a foreigner.” Nodding his head helplessly Ranganath said. “I just cannot understand the writing on that wall and this thing also.” Smaran told him and has shown him in his cell phone the writing on the wall of Sukanya.
“Don’t bother about it much.” Leaning back in the chair Smaran said. “Forget all this and relax yourself. I shall soon unearth what made your daughter to commit suicide.”
“Are you really thinking that I can relax now? Can I relax at anytime in my future? I am tensed, worried and fully anxious. No relaxation or happiness to me Mr.Smaran. My daughter committed suicide and got her death. I am just waiting for it in a natural way but with speed.” His voice was with full of sorrow.
“Mr.Ranganath, please don’t talk like that. I say that this misfortune should not have happened in your life at all but it had happened and cannot be undone. We have to make terms with our lives and go on with our living. There is no other way at all.”
Ranganath did not say anything but remained looking into the face of Smaran.
“You are thinking that there are no sad incidents in my life Mr.Ranganath. I am also not free of this type of incidents. My wife died in an accident while she was three months pregnant.”
Suddenly there was change in the face of Ranganath. “Oh! I am very sorry. You said about this before.”
“Its alright. I accepted the truth and I have made terms with my life. We have to do it like that. There is no other way at all.”
“Have you married again?” Ranganath asked him.
“No I did not” Smaran said to him.
“Why you did not? You have understood the truth and made terms with your life.”
“Of course I am. But I could not marry again. I cannot say why but I could not think to marry again.”
“I can say why Mr.Smaran. You have loved your late wife that much. She is in your heart completely. You just cannot give place to anyone else in it.”
“May be you are right.” Smaran capitulated.
“We never can come terms with our lives with respect to somethings Mr.Smaran. We never can accept the truth about them either. We just have to live our whole lives like this.”
Smaran remained silent. He did not know what to say.
“I am going now. I do hope you would unearth the truth out as fast as possible.” Then Ranganath moved away from that place.
(I hope that you enjoyed upto here. I shall publish the next chapter as soon as possible. Please don’t forget to rate and review.)
