An untellable secret
(Some secrets may better remain secrets for ever)
Kotra Siva Rama Krishna
“Nirupama came to my home at twelve or twelve thirty on that day. My mom went out on some work telling me that she would be late and I was also going out. My dad has been doing a job in a faraway place and I was alone in the home at that time. In fact I was not feeling well, suffering with little fever and was going to a doctor. I did not go to the college because of that reason. She said to me that she wanted to stay in my home. Then I left her in my home and went out. It took me lot of time on that day as the doctor was not available readily in the clinic. After I returned to home, after we talked half an hour or so together, Nirupama left.”
Sukanya stopped. Menaka did not say anything. She just wanted to hear if Sukanya wanted to say anything more.
“That was the last time I have met her in my home before she committed suiside.” Sukanya said.
“Was it usual that she came to your home like that?”
While they both were talking so Sukanya’s mother Latha came there and handed them coffee cups. Sukanya introduced Menaka to her mother and Sukanya’s mother greeted her before retiring into the kitchen again.
“My father is doing a job in a faraway place, I already said. Only my mother and I reside in this house. I am the only daughter to my parents.” Sukanya said.
Menaka nodded her head.
“I think you have asked a question. What that is?”
“Was it usual that she came to your home at such time?”
“No. We usually met in the evenings either in my home or her home. She said some boycott or so was going on that day and college was closed.”
“I see.” Menaka nodded her head. “What really odd in this, I cannot understand.” she said
“I tell you.” Sukanya paused for a moment before saying. “Before moving out of the house, just for few seconds I looked into the face of her. Then the expression in her face……..” Sukanya again paused.
“What’s the expression in her face?” Menaka asked her curiously.
Sukanya nodded her head helplessly “I don’t know whether it is important or not or I just imagined like that.” Once again there was a pause.
“Just tell me whatever you are trying to say.” While trying to contain her irritation, Menaka said.
“Her expression was very odd! I just cannot say what exactly the expression was but it was not because of some good reason.”
“I see” Menaka nodded her head with a meaningful expression.
“I must say it was only for few seconds. But after my return from the doctor, everything was as usual. In the usual way she talked with me for half an hour or so before leaving.”
“In my opinion expressions are two types. One type of expression do happen by happy feelings and the other type of expression do happen by sad feelings. Can you say by what type of feeling that expression has taken place in her?” Menaka asked her.
“Certaily by some sad feeling, that much I can say.” With a meaningful expression Sukanya said.
There was some silence before Sukanya herself broke it. “It was little unusual. She used to come always smiling and laughing and go smiling and laughing. Even it was just for few seconds, I cannot understand why she was so.”
“After that day she did not come to your home again. You are sure about that?”
“I am sure, of course.” Sukanya nodded her head. “In fact there was no chance to meet me then. I went to my relatives’ home and held up there. Just one or two days before her committing suiside, I came to my home but in those two days she did not meet me and I did not go to her home either. We talked over phone only.”
“Was she her usual self while talking with you over phone? Could not you trace any distress in her?”
“It was more than six months’ back issue and I cannot remember with all detail now. If I have tried to find out any difference, I rather would have but I did not. But……” after few seconds pause she said with gathered frowns. “I must say I did not find any difference in her voice. Or Nirupama all the time tried not to show any of her inner feelings and distress in her voice.”
“There was such a chance.” Menaka nodded her head. Some silence ensued after she said that.
“I am thinking something might have happened to her on that day. Was there really a boycott in the college on that day? Are you also studying in the same college?”
“I have been also studying in the same college but with different subject. The next day itself I went to the college as I was cured off the fear and what she has said was true. There was no college on that day.”
Menaka hissed out heavily. “It is something that we need to concentrate a little more. You said that she came to your home at twelve thirty on that day.” Menaka said looking into the face of Sukanya.
“Yes, of course.” Sukanya nodded her head.
“If she started from her college straight when she came to know that there was no college, how much time it would take to her to reach her home?”
“College begins at ten. Everyday we will be there by that time and if there is no college and we started back from there at least by ten fifteen we reach homes even before eleven. That college is not very far from here.”
“Then it can be assumed that she did not come straight to your house from the college on that day. She first went to her home and from there came to your house.”
“It must have been so.” Sukanya nodded her head.
“Then can we presume that something happened to her in her house which made her upset and caused an expression like that in her face?”
“Never” Sukanya nodded her head firmly. “There is no chance at all to something happen to her in her home to make her feel upset like that. Both her parents did love and like her a lot. They never do anything that makes her feel bad.”
“Alright” Menaka nodded her head. “But how can you say that she came straight to her home from the college on that day? She might have stopped or might have been stopped for some reason at the college or nearby it or on the way.”
“I just cannot understand what you are trying to say!” frowns gathered on the forehead of Sukanya.
“Don’t get emotional and try to think in a logical way.” Menaka stooped in the chair she sat and said looking into the face of Sukanya. “Nirupama suffered with something which she could not share with anyone even with those who were very close to her and that something even led her to commit suiside. Just try to guess in a general way and say what can make a girl distress that much even to commit suiside.”
“I just cannot indulge myself in that guessing business. You do it yourself.” Still there were frowns on the forehead of Sukanya.
“I already did.” Menaka smiled and leaned back in the chair. “A rape or gang-rape. She would have been forced to stop somewhere while she was coming from the college and that atrocity would have happened on her. As she could not share it with anyone she committed suiside like that after suffering in herself for fifteen days or so.”
“My god! What type of thinking it is?” Sukanya’s face was filled with shock.
“We have to consider all types of possibilities. Just tell me whether there is such a chance or not. I already asked you to not to become emotional and try to think in a logical way.”
“No, never.” After few seconds serious thinking over that Sukanya said. “Even if something like that happened on her, Nirupama was not that type of a girl to commit suiside for it. First thing she would do is get those rascals to be hanged. It is not a rape or gang-rape on her which made her to commit suiside.”
“Then what could have caused that expression in her face on that day which you saw?” Menaka knitted her brows together.
“I said to you it was only for few seconds that too only immediately after she entered into the house. When I returned from the doctor, she was all usual to me and we talked half an hour or so also. If she was raped or gang-raped I don’t think that she could behave in such a way with me.”
Menaka got off from the chair she sat. “I helped my uncle in some of his assignments. I really like being a part of his investigations. But this assignment…..I cannot feel like that.” She turned and looked into the eyes of Sukanya. “Especially when I looked at her parents. Her mother became mad. Her father is with full of sadness. I am angry with her. Why did not she consider about her parents even whatever bloody thing that troubled her?”
Sukanya nodded her head helplessly.
“It is surprising that she did not share anything about that even with you either. What type of girl she was? Did she like keep things with her not sharing them with anyone else?”
“Not so. We used to share with each other everything. She is not something to say everything of her with others. But when it comes to important things she used to tell me and it is vice versa.”
“What about her parents? Did she share things with them?”
“Sure, always she did. I already said to you that her father and she always behaved like friends. I don’t need to say her relationship with her mother. She was their only child and borne to them after ten years of their marriage.” Sukanya paused for a moment and then said. “I can say one thing. Nirupama’s relationship with her parents was perfect. She loved her parents and was loved by them a lot. Among the three they never kept a secret.”
“Except this.”
“Of course, except this bloody thing which was compelled her to commit suicide.” There were traces of anger and sadness in the voice of Sukanya.
Menaka came back and slumped into the chair again. “What about this Niranjan? I heard of him intimated with our girl. Did she share everything with him also?”
“He is a retired psychology professor. A relative to Nirupama from her mother’s side. He came to this town after his retirement, bought a house and settled here.” She paused for a moment. “A very interesting guy. Not just Nirupama I also liked him and went with her many a time to him. He did not ask her to join in psychology post graduation but he inspired her to opt psychology in her post graduation.” Sukanya paused for a second and said again. “I must say he was like a father figure to her. She respected him and loved him as much as she did to her father.”
“What you are studying in your post graduation?”
“Economics.” Sukanya laughed. “I like psychology and that Niranjan both. But he did not inspire me that much to join in psychology. From the beginning my interest in economics dominated everything else.”
Menaka was about to ask something but before she mouthed her words Sukanya asked her. “What you are studying now?”
“I have completed my graduation with mathematics. But I am not much interested in post-graduation and I want to do a job. I am writing competitive examinations.”
“Very nice thing indeed!” Sukanya nodded her head with appreciation. “I think you are also as much aged of me and that Nirupama.”
“May be so.” Menaka nodded her head. “So Nirupama respected that Niranjan a lot. He was like a father figure to her.”
“Yes, of course.” Sukanya nodded her head.
“Don’t become emotional again and just try to think once more in a logical way.” Menaka adjusted herself in the chair before asking. “If that Niranjan raped our girl or tried to rape her, there was every chance to Nirupama to become distressed to the maximum and commit suiside. Was there no such chance?”
(I hope that you enjoyed upto here. I shall publish the next chapter as soon as possible. Please don’t forget to rate and review.)
