- 26 -
After talking to Rani on phone, Alok began to think that he had never imagined that meeting with Rani after so many years could impact her married life to such an extent! He considered himself responsible and felt guilty for all this. Feeling of guilt and remorse started engulfing his personality and thoughts. Simultaneously, deep inside, he was convinced that Rani's dedication and devotion to him was so deep rooted that she would not retract from her decision. He was not able to see any clear line of action. He also wondered why Rani had restrained him from visiting Mohali yesterday. He remained in the dole-drum the whole day.
Next day, after Jaswanti left, he thought of seeing Rani in person and discussing the whole matter. Accordingly, he informed her that he was coming. Subconsciously, she, too, was eager to meet him. She was also feeling the need of support to draw strength and feel reassured. Therefore, she did not stop him this time.
When they met, Alok shared with her the predicament going on in his mind since yesterday. Today, for the first time, Rani saw the shades of worry and sadness clearly on his face. Ignoring her own worries, she put his face to her bosom just as a mother does with her sad child to console him. Caressing his hair with her fingers, she said, “Alok, don’t let the guilt feelings bother you. You’re not at fault in the least. Whatever is going on in my life, or can happen in future, I’m solely responsible for that and I don’t regret it at all. Rather I’m elated that I got within this life what my soul wished, otherwise I used to think that I would have to wait till next life to get reunited with you. Therefore, if anyone thinks that I could abandon my friendship with you, then there won’t be a bigger fool than him. Now I just wish that not a single moment in my life passes without being with you.”
Alok did not say anything. After a while, Rani said, “Alok, today for the first time, you look exhausted. I’m going to make tea. Thereafter, you should take some rest.”
Remaining silent till now, Alok said as if consoling himself, “Rani, it’s not your fault either. Whatever is happening, is ordained. Whatever is to happen, will happen. We’re just puppets in the hands of the Almighty. We’ve to dance as He makes us dance. We’ve no alternative but to follow His dictates. We should always remember what Rishi Vashishtha said to Bharat -
Sunahu Bharat bhaavi prabal, bilakhi kaheyo muninath,
Haani-labhu, jeevanu-maranu, jasu-apjasu bidhee haath.
(Listen O Bharat, future can’t be altered, said the saint sadly
Loss-gain, life-death, fame-infamy are in the hands of destiny.)
“As to the question of your desire being fulfilled, I consider that, too, as God’s grace.”
Rani got up and made tea. Many issues were discussed while they were sipping tea. After tea, Rani once again suggested, “Alok, take some rest.”
“No, I’m fine. It was necessary to talk to you, so, I’ve come today despite your restraining me yesterday.”
“Alok, you might have felt bad when I stopped you yesterday. It was not that I didn't want to meet you. In my heart of hearts, I’m always eager for your company. After meeting the lawyer, Ramesh Ji had gone to playing cards with his friends. Although he never returns before seven or eight in the evening, yet I was afraid that he might leave the game midway and come home because of his unstable state of mind, so, I declined your proposal yesterday.”
“I understand very well. I didn't feel bad at all, I couldn't have done that. If we start feeling bad about such petty issues, it would mean that there must be something lacking in our love, in our understanding of each other!”
After consoling each other in this way, they felt greatly relieved. So, Alok got up to go back.
******
