- 4 -
It was the day next to Christmas.
As soon as Rani woke up in the morning and opened the outside door, she saw a blanket of fog spread all around. The fog was so dense that even the windows and doors of the houses opposite were not visible. The light of the street lamps was not even reaching the road; it was confined to a circle of four to five feet around the lamp. There was complete silence all around. No sound even of a bird could be heard anywhere. It was six o’clock, still it was complete dark. Last night, it was in the TV news that snowfall was taking place in Shimla after many years on the occasion of Christmas. The weather of Shimla has an immediate impact on the weather of the Tricity. There is a saying also that if Shimla sneezes, the Tricity catches cold. But there was not much cold in this winter season so far. It did not look like winter yet, leave alone the fog. But today the icy winds of Shimla had descended into the Tricity, hence, while standing outside, Rani felt shivering in her body due to the chilly atmosphere. She came inside and hid herself under the quilt. After some time, Ramesh woke up. When he got freshened up, Rani brought the morning tea. They had not finished tea when Ramesh’s mobile rang. After attending the call, Ramesh emptied his cup of tea in two sips and said to Rani, “I’ve to go to Delhi for an urgent work. You prepare breakfast and I’ll get ready by then. Call the driver and ask him to come by eight o’clock and when he arrives, send him to get the car’s tank filled.”
“Will you come back today itself or stay in Delhi for the night?”
“I’ll come by the night. I may be late but I’ll definitely come because I’ve an urgent meeting to attend tomorrow. Don’t lock the outside gate. I’ll lock the drawing room while leaving. Whenever I come, I’ll get in and sleep. I’ll not disturb you, you can sleep peacefully.”
“There’s no need to lock the drawing room. Whenever you come, I’ll open the door.”
“No-no. Maybe, I’ll come back after midnight. I don’t want to disturb you in your sleep without reason.”
Without saying anything else, Rani got busy in the kitchen to prepare the breakfast.
After Ramesh went to Delhi, Rani called Alok. When connected, she asked, “Alok, will you be at home today or do you intend to go somewhere?”
The reply came from the other end, “I’m not going anywhere today. I’ll remain at home. But, why do you ask?”
“I intend to come to Patiala.”
“Most welcome. When will you reach?”
“The first fog of the season has spread its empire all around. The maid hasn’t come yet. I’ll be able to leave only after she finishes her work. I’ll try to reach by one o’clock. I’ll bring lunch.”
“Rani, don’t bring lunch.”
“But why? When I’m coming at lunch time, we’ll have lunch together.”
“Of course, we’ll have lunch together but don’t bring lunch. Do you remember what I told you when I came to your house?”
“We talked a lot, but which particular thing are you reminding me of?”
“I had said that whenever you come to Patiala, I would serve you the food cooked with my own hands.”
“Oh yes, I remember very much. My tongue is already yearning to taste the food cooked by you.”
“That’s why I was asking you not to bring lunch….. I’ll wait for you.”
After this, Rani switched off the phone and went to take bath. Rani had completed all her work even before Lachhmi came. When Rani called, Alok was still sitting under the quilt reading the newspaper, because the weather was very cold and he had no plans to go anywhere. So, when his maid came, he explained to her what to do, “Jaswanti, to prepare mix veg, take out cauliflower, carrot, and peas from the fridge and for seasoning, chop onion, tomato, ginger, garlic and coriander. I’ll cook the Sabzi myself, you just bake six paranthas. In the meantime, I’m going to take bath.”
Jaswanti found it a bit strange for Alok to ask her to bake six paranthas, because he never ate more than two or three paranthas. She once thought of asking him if anyone was coming, but then thought it better to suppress her curiosity and got busy with her work.
The fog started clearing around ten o’clock. By eleven o’clock, the Sun started showing its existence. At one o’clock, Rani reached Alok’s house. The main gate of the house was open. Rani parked the car in the passage and slightly pressed the horn. Alok came out immediately. Rani was wearing the same Saree which Alok had gifted her. After exchanging greetings, Alok said, “Welcome! You really look a queen in this magenta coloured Saree.”
“It’s your choice, why won’t it look magnificent? … The jacket also suits you very well.”
Thus, commenting on each other’s attire, they entered the house. They sat in the drawing room. Elegance was clearly visible in simplicity and cleanliness. There was a five seater sofa and a central table made of teak, top of which was of glass. On the opposite wall, a portrait size photo of Alok and Rashmi in a golden frame was hung. Rani looked closely and asked, “When was this photo taken?”
“This was taken at the time of our son’s marriage.”
“Rashmi’s personality is very charming. Her face is radiating. Sadly, I was not lucky enough to have met this goddess like personality. It appears that someone cast evil eye upon her.”
Alok’s eyes became moist on hearing Rani’s emotional comment upon Rashmi. Turning his face to the other side, he wiped his eyes with his handkerchief and, hiding his emotions, pointing to the packet kept near Rani, asked, “What’s in it, or is the gift brought for me being hidden from me like Sudama did when he met his childhood friend in Dwarka?”
“There’s nothing to hide,” and Rani opened the packet and took out a hand-knitted snow-white sweater. Giving it to Alok, she said, “I hadn’t knitted sweaters by hand for years. After meeting you, I felt like gifting you something made by my own hands which will remain close to your heart.”
Alok took off his jacket and wore the sweater and asked, “Happy…?”
“Very much. When you wear this in winters, it’ll remind you of me.”
“Why will I remember you only when I wear it in winters -
Har sham aankhon par, tera aanchal lehraye
Har raat yadon ki barat le aaye
Mein saans leta hoon, teri khushboo aati hai
Ek mehka mehka sa paigam laati hai
Mere dil ki dharhakan bhi tere geet gaati hai
Pal pal dil ke paas tum rahti ho.”
(Every evening your Aanchal flutters before my eyes,
Every night brings a plethora of your memories,
When I breathe, I feel your fragrance,
The air brings message full of aroma,
Even the beat of my heart sings your songs,
Every moment you remain close to my heart.)
“Alok, you’ve started loving me to the extent of madness, but –
Ajeej itna hi rakho ki jee sambhal jaye
Ab is kadar bhi na chaho ki dum nikal jaye.”
(Love me only this much that I keep my control,
Don’t cherish me so much as I lose my breath.)
“Rani, madness is the only path through which the secrets of life can be unfolded. And love hasn’t happened at the present moment, it had already happened in childhood itself. As far as desire is concerned, its limits can’t be set. It’s limitless. The only regret is that due to hesitation, I couldn’t express my feelings at the right moment. I wanted the childhood friendship to move ahead. Secondly, the hesitation was not one-sided. When you came for the first time to get Lassi and asked Maa (Mother) about me and she asked you to go upstairs to meet me, if by chance you had come upstairs that day or on the day when I was alone at home, had you not returned suppressing your desire, then the events of our life might have taken a different turn! Our destiny might have taken us to a different point! But, alas! The destiny was not in our favour. Who can change anyone’s destiny? You yourself have admitted that from the day of our first kiss, you had made me yours in your heart. You had already expressed your feelings through your subsequent conduct. … I came to Patiala after graduation. After completing my masters, I got lecturer’s job here. And since then I’ve been living here at Patiala. I didn’t know that you were in Mohali after marriage. Once we parted ways in life, it took almost forty years for the geographical distance of 60-65 kilometres between us to disappear. Well, leave it. Tell me, will you have tea or soup?”
“Is it to be made or has already been made?”
“You just sit for five minutes, I’ll be back right now.”
“I’m also coming.”
“Not today; it’s your first time here, next time in the kitchen.”
So, Rani started looking at the titles of the books kept neatly in the bookshelf in the drawing room. The bookshelf was full of books. Some special titles that caught her eye were – Ramcharitamanas, Mahabharat, Srimad Bhagwat Puran, Srimad Bhagwat Gita, Chanakya Niti, Meghadoot, Kumar Sambhav, Kabir’s Dohawali, Mira’s Padawali, Surdas’s Soorsagar, Jayasi’s Padmavat, Bihari’s Satsai, My Experiments With Truth, Discovery of India, Geetanjali, Anand Math, Deewan-e- Ghalib, Paradise lost, David Copperfield, War and Peace, Crime and Punishment, The Mother, Kamayani, Godaan, Gaban, Nirmala, Shekhar - Ek Jeewani, Nadi ke Dweep, Jhutha Sach, Andha Yug, Gunahon ka Devta, Ek Chaadar Maili Si, Raseedi Ticket, Train to Pakistan, Complete works of Sharat Chander and Shakespeare, Madhushala, A Suitable Boy, etc.
When Alok brought soup, Rani came and sat on the sofa. Alok said, “It appears you’re very fond of reading! You were looking at the books very attentively.”
“Reading is a bit of my hobby.”
“What’ve you read and what’re you reading nowadays?”
“There’s no such regular routine. I’ve subscribed to Hindi Femina and Harigandha (Magazines in Hindi). During college days, I used to read Dharam Yug (Hindi Weekly) and Sarika (Monthly Hindi magazine) regularly. In those days, Mannu Bhandari’s novel ‘Aapka Bunty’ was being published in serial form in Dharam Yug . It was so heart touching that the next issue of Dharam Yug was eagerly awaited. ‘The Merchant of Venice’ and ‘David Copperfield’ were read as course books. By the way, I’ve read many novels and stories of Prem Chand, ‘Shekhar; Ek Jeewani’, ‘Jhutha Sach’, ‘Gunahon Ka Devta’, ‘Aashadh Ka Ek Din’ and some other books. In this way, I don’t have to worry about how to pass time, and in addition, it provides me mental satisfaction also. Is Rajendra Yadav’s novel ‘Sara Aakash’ the same based on which Basu Chatterjee made a movie of the same title?”
“I feel that Prem Chand’s novels and stories, ‘Shekhar: Ek Jeewani’, ‘Jhutha Sach’, ‘Gunahon Ka Devta’, ‘Aapka Bunty’, are the best books of Hindi literature. No matter how many times you read these, every time new meanings and truths of life are revealed. …. Yes, the film ‘Sara Aakash’ has been made on the basis of Rajinder Yadav’s novel of the same title. Have you seen the film?”
“Yes, I saw it with Papa. It was a different kind of movie. Papa was fond of watching off-beat movies. In this movie, newlywed husband and wife don’t speak to each other for six months despite living in the same house.”
“I’ve not seen the film, but the author tells in the beginning of the novel that the real-life husband and wife, on whose life, he wrote this story, didn’t speak to each other for nine years while living together all this time in the same room. While writing the novel, he felt that the fact of nine years would not be digestible to the readers, so, he reduced the ‘non-speaking period’ to one year. The filmmaker further reduced it to six months because to him even one year seemed, too, long without any concrete reason.”
Rani started wondering, ‘Is it possible for two people to live together and not speak to each other for nine years?’ Her mind replied, ‘You, too, have been living with Ramesh for so long despite the fact that he always lacks time to spend with you or that there is nothing for him except to fulfil his material and physical needs. Your existence hardly matters to him.’
Seeing the serious expression on Rani’s face, Alok asked, “What’re you thinking of, is there anything serious troubling your mind?”
“I was wondering how two people could live together day and night without talking for nine years?”
“I, too, find it impossible that two people wouldn’t speak to each other while living in the same room for nine years, but when the author has mentioned it as true, we’ve to accept it. Anyway, in many families, the situation of lack of communication between the husband and wife persists to a frightening level.”
Rani felt as if Alok was unknowingly commenting on Ramesh and her relationship.
“Alok, have you ever wondered what could be the main reason of lack of communication between husband and wife?”
“This is a personal matter. Reasons may vary from case to case. It’s difficult to single out any one reason. But leave it, this is a topic that demands long discussion. We’ll talk about this some other time when we’ve free time. Just finish the soup, and then take out the books you like from the bookshelf.”
After finishing the soup, Rani got up and went near the bookshelf. She took out ‘Selected Stories of Manto’, ‘Aapka Bunty’, ‘Raseedi Ticket’, ‘Sara Aakash’ and ‘Mitro Marjaani’. Looking at the books she had taken, Alok said, “You just said that you’ve read ‘Aapka Bunty’ in serial form, maybe you want to read it again. Rest of the books are also very good, you’ll like them. Read these at leisure. Now let’s take meals. I’ve completed only half of the task of cooking by my hands. I’ve prepared the Subzi only, we’ll have to eat the paranthas baked by the maid.”
While eating, Alok asked, “If you can wait till six o’clock, we can finish the meal quickly and watch the film at three o’clock.”
“There’s no problem till six o’clock. Which movie ….?”
“Old films are on play in ‘Phool’ theatre. The film ‘Rabb Ne Bana Di Jodi’ (Couple united by God) will be shown in the 3 o’clock show. When this film was released 6-7 years ago, I couldn’t watch it. Many of my friends have praised it a lot. If you’ve not seen it, let’s see it.”
“I’ve not seen it either. Actually, I’ve seen very few films.”
“Why, are you not fond of watching films?”
“I like movies, but I don’t feel like going alone. Whatever few films I’ve seen, were mostly seen with my friends. Ramesh Ji doesn’t get time to accompany me in such matters. The films seen with him can be counted on fingers.”
When Alok had gone to Mohali to meet Rani, her behaviour and some of the things she said about her married life seemed to Alok to be an expression of her extreme emotions, despite knowing the fact that whatever Rani had said, was lying suppressed deep in her heart for years. But today, on hearing this from Rani, Alok felt as if Rani was pointing towards some vacuum in her relations with Ramesh. But he did not say or ask anything on his own.
After eating the food, Rani said, “The Subzi was really very tasty.”
“Rani, I had prepared this Subzi without oil or ghee.”
“How is that?”
“I’ll tell you all this at some other time. Now let’s get going otherwise we’ll get late for the movie.”
After the film ended, they came out of the theatre. The sun had already set as the days were getting shorter. These days evening descends suddenly. Like the morning, fog had also started spreading. The shadows of darkness were getting thicker. The trees on the roadside were appearing just shadows of their original in the cold twilight. After sitting in the car, Rani praised the film and said, “The film was very good. Shah Rukh Khan looks exactly like you in this movie.”
“Oh, no. I’m nowhere near him. However, we should never compare two persons, because the Almighty is such an artist, whose every creation is unique and different from the other. This fact can be seen not only in the animate world but also in the inanimate world.”
“What you are saying is hundred percent correct.”
The conversation once again turned towards childhood. Alok started recollecting, “Rani, let me tell you one thing which perhaps I’ve not told you!”
“Although we’ve talked to each other about everything, still it’s possible that I might not know in advance what’s in your mind. So, tell me.”
“Once Rama told me in private that she also wanted to be friends with me like you. I asked her what kind of friendship? She said, ‘The way you fly kites with Rani, sometime fly kites with me, too.’ Hearing this, I felt that she had sensed that relationship between us had developed beyond just friendship. So, I avoided further discussion by saying that the friendship that existed between Rani and me couldn’t happen with everyone. As soon as I said this, she got angry and went away and didn’t talk to me for many days.”
“One day while playing, Rama told me this and asked what was going on between you guys? I said that it was nothing like what she was thinking, but she was not satisfied. She didn’t talk with me, too, for many days. Then gradually she started socialising like before. … Alok, do you remember, one day it was very dark on a wintery night. You were standing in the street. As soon as I came out of our house, you took me in your arms. At that time, Kartari Amma (Elderly lady) saw us somehow and in the morning, she told my family that Rani and Alok had grown up and that their activities should be kept under watch. Mummy discreetly forbade me from meeting you alone. After this we started avoiding meeting before the members of our families and the neighbours. Now when we’ve met again, it feels like those childhood days have returned. It doesn’t seem as if we’ve become Dada, Nana, Nani (Maternal Grandma).”
“You’re right. It seems as if the wheel of age has come full circle. A couplet comes to the mind:
Meelon lumbi jindagi barson daud-daud,
Baki sab vismrit hua, yaad rahe kuchh maud.”
(Miles and miles of long life, running for years together
Everything else is forgotten, a few moments I remember.)
Talking about their childhood days, they reached home. There was a pindrop silence all around in the colony and darkness was descending fast. Sitting in the car, Rani said to Alok, “I’m leaving now. It’ll be eight o’clock by the time I reach home.”
“Night is fast approaching. The weather is also not looking good; the fog is getting dense. Will you be able to go alone?”
“I’ve to go anyway. I came alone and have to go alone.”
From Rani’s answer, Alok felt that there was some dilemma in Rani’s mind regarding driving. So, he asked, “Have you ever done driving alone at night in such a weather?”
“This’ll be my first experience of driving alone at night, let alone in such weather. I drive a lot during the day. I drive locally even at night.”
“I can’t let you go alone like this. I’ll accompany you. I’ll stay in a hotel for the night and return by bus in the morning.”
“Why do you bother? I’ll drive slowly.”
“What’s the problem in this, do you consider me a stranger?”
Expressing her feelings, Rani counter-questioned, “Had I considered you a stranger, would I’ve come this far?”
Alok felt very happy on hearing her answer in the form of a question. He said, “Come inside. Let me keep some clothes etc. in the briefcase for the night. Then we’ll go.”
Rani locked the car and they came inside. Alok quickly packed the briefcase and said, “Come, I’ll drive the car now.”
“No, let me drive the car. I’ll get the experience of driving on the highway at night. In any case, you’ll be sitting by my side.”
Alok did not object and Rani started the car and left for Mohali. Due to the fog, the journey of one and a half hour took almost two and a half hours. After reaching Mohali, Alok said, “Rani, drop me at some good hotel. I’ll catch the bus to Patiala in the morning.”
After reaching the hotel, Rani said, “Alok, check-out time is twelve o’clock. Why do you need to leave in the morning? What work would be struck there? At the most, you’ll be worried about the maid, call her and ask her not to come. Although Ramesh Ji will come late at night, but he’ll have to reach office in time because he has an urgent meeting tomorrow. I’ll bring breakfast for you immediately after the maid leaves.”
“As you said that Ramesh Ji will come late at night, so, there shouldn’t be any hurry for you to go home. Let’s have dinner together.”
“It’s a good proposal, I accept it. Thus, I’ll be saved from the botheration of preparing dinner and eating alone.”
After having dinner, Rani left for home saying ‘good night’ to Alok and asking him to wait for the breakfast.
*****
