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Fifty shades of parenting



Its nothing like growing in right hands. Sure as hell we all want to be perfect parents. We enroll ourselves for parenting course. We get many advices and tips from the family starting from very first day of baby’s arrival. But do they really help us? Yes, sometimes they do but the journey of parenting is not same for everyone. We are reborn with our kids in so many ways. We learn from our mistakes and wonder what next will be coming. Each day is different with new experience. We never knew we had the caliber or energy to face daily tantrums, nor we knew how much patience and love we could give to our children. Journey of parenting is like to go with the flow of life.

With changing of times the parenting has changed too. In the past people lived in joint families. So when a newborn baby arrived it was easy to seek child care and parenting advice from the family around. This is not necessarily same nowadays due to nuclear family. This also means today’s parents have less support to rely on. Many of blessings and problems are the same though. But the most important aspect is good parenting to make sure that your child grows up right.

REAL TREASURE

Give your child love and attention they deserve. Money is not enough. Toy and games and fashionable branded clothes and an expensive school are not all that a child needs. He needs your love, your friendship, your care, your guidance and discipline. Today parents are facing a hectic schedule. Father is hopping across business, watching news and busy on cell phones when at home. Mother is busy in ladies clubs, arranging kitty parties, managing household chores. Working mothers are juggling between home and work. Ofcourse, these parents don’t neglect their children. They appoint specially trained babysitters to take care every needs of child. But without love and quality time from parents no child can grow up in right way. Your children need your presence more than your presents. Your children are your greatest treasure. Don’t get busy gathering silver and gold that you neglect your richest treasure.

TRAINING

No more important work is to be done in this world than preparing our children to be god-fearing, happy, honorable and productive. In my opinion training of children requires more intelligence, understanding, strength, wisdom, patience, love, spirituality, humbleness, hardwork than any other challenge we might have in life. To have successful homes, values and morals must be taught and some rules and standards must be followed. Childrens should be given positive environment at home. Surely the harmony, peace and love will build their inner strength to cope up with life’s challenges.

PRIORTISE NEEDS

To become good father and mother requires to let go many needs and comforts to favour children’s need first. As a result of this sacrifice, parents develop a nobility of character.

DISCIPLINE

Children often challenge strength and wisdom of parents. At those times understanding and patience play a crucial role. When parents try to preach values they must be followed both ways. Parents are mirror image for children. It can be said action speaks louder than words. For instance, if children are expected to be honest, parents must be honest. If you expect your children to be honorable, you must be honorable. Child up bringing is individualism. Every child is different from another. What works with one may not work with another. Direction and discipline are however difficult challenge for parents. Without discipline children will not respect either the rules of the home or society. President David O. Mckay stated, “Parents, who fail to teach obedience to their children, if homes do not develop obedience society will demand it and get it. It is therefore better for the home, with its kindliness, sympathy and understanding to train children in obedience rather than callously leave him to the brutal and unsympathetic discipline that society will implore if the home has not already fulfilled its obligation.”

PAMPERING

There is often a special challenge for those parents who are affluent or overly indulgent. Elder Neal A. Maxwell has said, “ Those who do too much for their children will soon find they can do nothing with their children. So much have been done for they are almost done in.” Despite our good intensions we pay price for pampering children. Pampering comes in many forms. It can be over doing, which happens when we do things for children that they are capable of doing for themselves. Over- giving and over- buying just to make up for absence or lack of time from parents will never make children to learn the value of things. We also need to be aware when we are being supportive and when we are being over- evaluative. We need to learn the difference between to encourage children and pressuring children. It is very much important to protect our children in today’s times. Being over protective never solves the problem instead we should teach child skills and ways to develop their own sensibility and alertness.

INFLUENCE

Those children who resolve to stay away from drugs, alcohol, illicit sex are those who have adopted these values from their parents. In times of crisis they are most likely to follow the teachings of parents. Values cannot be taught at school or by society. The most effective teaching takes place in the home.

PRAISING

Praising your child is one of the most important things you can do as an parent. Ray Burke states, “Praise is powerful. It helps your child grow emotionally, just as food helps your child grow physically.” Norman Cutts stated that praise makes you radiate “well- being.” But praising should not empower discipline.

PUNISHMENT

Child should me made understand the consequences of his actions. Parents should understand difference between discipline and punishment. Punishment produces some very negative attitude in your children: guilt, shame, bitterness, self pity, fear and more while discipline on other hand trains a child for correction and maturity. This approach takes a lot more work on parents part and lot more self control. The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.

Proper parenting shapes the coming generations and the way next generations will behave affecting the world around them.