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When we value being cool and in control over granting ourselves the freedom, to unleash the passionate, goofy and soulful expression of who we are, we betray ourselves. When we consistently betray ourselves, we can expect to do the same to, the people we love. When we don't give ourself permission to be free, We rarely tolerate that freedom in others. We put them down, make fun of them, Sometimes shame them. We can do this intentionally or unintentionally. Either way the massege is "man, don't be so uncool".
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