Between Truth and Lies
Uma was married, around thirty-eight years old. A free-spirited woman. Her husband worked out of town and visited only occasionally each month. In truth, she was living her life alone. Every day, she took the 8 a.m. local train to work and returned on the 8 p.m. one. Along the way, she met fellow up-down commuters living similar lives, chatting and smiling—that was her existence. There was no one at home to talk to; the real conversations happened on the train. Work was just work; life pulsed in the local train. Here, people shared joys and sorrows in casual banter. A lone woman is never truly alone, and if it's known she's alone in her personal life too, many men's masculinity awakens. She sensed a strikingly handsome man wanted to stay close to her. She saw a magnetic pull in his eyes. She, too, felt drawn to him involuntarily. In conversations, both realized they were attracted to each other. Soon, they started meeting at coffee houses or parks. That's when Uma learned he—Umesh—was not only married but had two children.
Uma and Umesh now met almost daily. Umesh introduced her to his friends and relatives. One day, he took her to his home and introduced her to his beautiful wife, Radha. Radha greeted them calmly, left them in the bedroom, and went to prepare some snacks. In Umesh's bedroom, it was just the two of them. For the first time, Umesh gently placed his hand on Uma's back and caressed it. Uma whispered, "Radha's here; she'll see." Umesh softly replied, "So what!" as if he couldn't care less about Radha. Uma's breathing quickened, but she tried to stay composed given the situation. Umesh moved his hand from her back to the front, gently caressing her curves. The room was quiet; Uma closed her eyes in nervousness. Umesh freely roamed his hands wherever he pleased. Uma felt a strange shiver. Her hand involuntarily slid onto Umesh's thigh, slowly moving between them. Over his pants, she wanted to feel that masculine hardness, but it didn't happen. She looked at him in surprise. Umesh just winked. Who knows what his eyes conveyed and what she understood. Just then, Radha entered with snacks. Uma hurriedly pulled her hand away; Umesh didn't rush but adjusted himself properly. Radha merely smiled in response. Everything seemed normal in this meeting—or so it appeared.
Suddenly, Uma had to go to Nagpur for some work. The city was unfamiliar, the trip essential, and her husband couldn't come. Umesh was now the only friend she could confide in. He said, "This is no big issue; I can go with you." Uma felt shy, but Umesh insisted there was no need for hesitation—they'd go together, finish the work, and return. By now, Uma and Umesh had opened up completely; they even shared intimate moments. Umesh often recounted tales of his intimate encounters with other women. In their talks, they'd crossed boundaries they hadn't physically. Uma thought this trip might take their relationship to a physical level. Off they went on the journey. That night, Umesh stayed awake while Uma slept with her head on his shoulder. Once or twice, she felt his hand near her intimate parts. She knew it was bound to happen.
The next morning, Uma and Umesh checked into a hotel room first thing. Uma thought, now.... They were alone in the room. Umesh lay calmly on the bed. Uma undressed right there in front of him and went to the bathroom. When she returned, he was still sitting the same way. She lay down beside him on the bed. Umesh showed no reaction. Uma decided to take the initiative. She began gently running her hands over his body. Umesh remained still. Her hand probed over his clothes for that organ symbolizing masculine firmness. She felt no hardness. Umesh removed his clothes. Before her was an organ with childlike softness. Holding her hand and placing it there, Umesh said, "Do something; it'll get hard." Uma tried for a while—nothing happened. As he dressed, Umesh said, "At home, it doesn't even let me rest, but outside, it's always like this." Uma, now in control of her emotions, replied, "No problem, friend; we didn't come together for this. It's just one factor between a man and woman—not essential, and our bond doesn't depend on it. We were friends, and we'll remain friends." Umesh, lost in his own tune, said, "No, Uma, we'll definitely do this someday in complete privacy, just like I do at home every day. Let me tell you, I can't go a single day without it." Uma didn't want to lose such a good friend, so she said, "Fine, after we leave here, stay at my place all night comfortably. I know everything will be okay." Afterward, Umesh kept sharing stories of how he'd done this with many other women. Uma placed his words somewhere between truth and lies. For her, that moment had passed. She neither wanted to invite it back nor lose it.
It had been about a week since their return. Uma scanned the local train for Umesh. She called too—no response. Finally, she went to his house. The door opened to Radha, looking disheveled. Behind her stood a man, half-naked. Uma asked about Umesh. Radha said, "He's gone to work. Come in, sit." Uma sat in the living room; the man went inside. Radha brought water and sat down. Softly, she said, "What happened, Uma?" Uma meant to ask something else but blurted, "Who's that?" gesturing toward the bedroom. Without mincing words, Radha replied, "That's Suresh, Umesh's brother. You shouldn't ask, but I thought you'd realized Umesh's truth by now." Uma was stunned. "...Truth? What truth?" Radha said, "You should've understood the first day when you touched him." Uma asked, "What... what should I have understood?" Radha raised her voice: "Didn't you see his male organ?" The image of that childlike organ flashed in Uma's mind, but she couldn't speak—her gaze fixed on the floor. Radha continued, "You've seen it; Umesh told me—in Nagpur. He thinks you know his secret; he's too ashamed to face you, so he avoids you." Radha went on: "Everyone at home knows about Umesh. I'm just his wife in name; Suresh is my real husband. The children are his, but Umesh is called their father. As for you... you're just one of many women he uses to flaunt his manhood outside. I have no issue with that, but Umesh said you two went so far that you learned his truth. Please, just don't tell anyone."
Uma left without a word. Umesh's truth didn't matter to her; what hurt was losing a good friend.
Alok Mishra "Manmauji"
आलोक मिश्रा " मनमौजी "
