In this mansion,silence was the loudest guest. I'd traded my dreams for this gilded cage. But last night, i dreamed of rain - and woke to find it was just the faucet dripping in the hall,echoing in the empty space beside me. I walked up to close it facing in the mirror as if hoping he'd appear by my side to embrace me. I chuckled. I still remember the day he came at my parents place to ask for my hand in my marriage,he was with his mother,expensive cars flooded the compound then came the gifts,i was told it won't be anything fancy just a house wedding,i had just one dress in particular to wear something that wasn't ragdy but when he saw he glared,rolled his eyes then scoffed,i looked down,shame perhaps. He stood up and told me to carry my things to the car,i clenched my ghana must go bag and he shrugged another thing indicating that this marriage was a symbol of just pleasing his parents,to marry someone obedient and well mannered someone submissive,he dropped me off at his house a big mansion with everything anyone would want then he left and i never heard from him again,today marked twenty one days. I worked as a special needs teacher and my routine evolved around work home then the cycle continued itself. I would try to call him from time to time or text but nothing it was as if in his world i didnt exist,just an accessory to add in his house,he did rather talk to kael who was my PA and the only person who stayed by my side but also thats cause Kael was paid by him to be there with me. On the outside people thought our marriage was perfect,he owned the Moonstone companies for skincare products and clothing brands and was into real estate,he made a name for himself and was successful,people met him and knew were he was but when i was asked if i would be at his companies meeting or why i dont go to any of his offices? i just looked down,he was my husband by name only. I washed my face with water sighing heavily. Kael knocked on the bathroom door. 'Madam. Your breakfast is ready'. I wipped my face and opened the door. 'I think i will skip'. 'That's the third time this week are you perhaps eating out or is the food here not of your liking?i could tell the chef to change his cooking'. 'You know what would help me Kael'. I snapped. 'Bring your boss let him tell me why he's doing all this to me or just tell him to let me go'. 'I understand your frustration madam but that isn't my place to tell him what to do. He is your husband and you've every power over him just as he has over you'. He went out.I decided to go the gym. I pushed my hair in a bun sweat dripping down my face. Grabbing my water bottle,i turned - and collided with a guy adjusting a weight rack. He chuckled rubbing his shoulder. 'No harm done. You okay?'. I smiled wiping sweat off my neck. 'Yes im good. Just didn't see you there'. 'New here trying to figure out this complicated this'. He said,his face beaming. 'The name's Xavier'. 'I'm Audrey'. I extended my hand to meet his. 'Such soft hands you've'. He kissed my hand. I blushed. He let go of my hand. 'You must be married. I see the ring'. 'Well yes'. I hid my hand behind me. 'Lucky guy'. He said his goodbyes then left. I just continued smiling like a fool. After a few workouts i went home. Back to the empty hallways and paintings just staring at me, 'great', i muttered to myself. I checked the house and Kael wasn't there atleast a few minutes to myself. I took my bath and decided to go out and make a meal for myself. As i was going i met Kael, he insisted and we went together. First shop we entered i was happy, this was the first time i went grocery shopping and was actually allowed to make something for myself. I walked through the aisles Kael behind me with the basket then i saw her,a brown skinned medium fat lady she wore a white maxi dress had makeup on with her weave to her side stood Cain,my husband,he was happy smiling with her shopping with her and being there for her. She looked like the most happiest woman on earth and i didn't know why i was still standing there,i clenched my hands nails digging inside my skin i felt the warm goey fluid slid down my hands. "Madam", Kael shouted throwing the basket to the floor and lifting me,i took one last glance at him and he turned his back on me. I woke up in my room,no suprise there,my hands in bandages and my nails removed,i tried to seat up but something pulled me back i was tied to the bed. 'FUCK!' I screamed and Kael rushed in. 'Untie me. Now!'. I kicked blankets and pillows off the bed not because i was chained to the bed but because i was angry he kept me here while he cheated,he was with another woman while i was here trying to be submissive and for what? Kael held me down then hugged me,i cried yesterdays image still in my head. He untied me. 'I brought some liquor'. He put the bottles on the bed and i curled up in my hands. 'I know you love vodka'. He opened and poured me a shot,the sour and bitter taste felt nice passing through my throat,i took the whole bottle and chugged. 'Who tied me up?' . 'He came when you were asleep said he didn't want you to leave'. He took his shot. 'Why does he care if i leave or not? He clearly has a life'. 'I dont know'. We spent the morning in my room drinking and talking and honestly i had a better relationship with Kael than my own husband. During the afternoon hours,Cains mother arrived she heard about my injury and came bearing gifts,it didnt take long for her to notice her son wasnt there. 'Where is Cain?' She asked. My eyes fell to the ground not knowing what to say,someone i only saw twice and even if he is cheating i still wouldn't point were he is. 'Kael,when was the last time he was here?i want the truth' she shifted her whole attention to him. 'He......he...never comes ma' he looked down knowing his job was on the line here. 'You've been married for weeks now and you're trying to say Cain hasn't been here?'. 'Its really not a problem.' I said. She looked at me,pitying me,she took out her phone and called him from her responses he didn't want to come but had no choice. Some hours passed then the gate opened,the engine car stopped roaring and the front door opened,i was sitting on the dining area a place that overlooked the hallway down to the main door and i stood up when i saw him,my eyes tearing up for no reason and as he walked past the living room the guest room the tv room,my heart skipped a few beats something in me told me to run my hands and legs became shakey i begun to move back,he kept his gaze on me ignoring his mothers voice who begun talking to him the moment he got in. He threw his phone on the dining table and i hit the wall,he approached me and i held my breath. 'Why are you afraid of me? I don't beat women'. He sat down and signaled me to remove his shoes which i immediately did then he pulled a chair and told me to sit besides him. 'Can you excuse us'. His mother still mumbling under her breath left and Kael went out too. 'What do you want me to get you so you can let me go back were i was?'. 'I thought you were on a work field or something. I was here having hope while you were with another woman. Why did you bring me here instead of just being with her?'. Tears rolled down my cheeks. He laughed. 'You do not raise your voice at me do you get that?'. He looked at me his eyes turning red and that feeling of fear came back at me. He stood up smashing a few things off the table. 'Come here'. I stood up facing his back,he turned and caressed my face down to my neck until he begun squeezing it,i kicked him and screamed but he overpowered me as i got out of breath i looked at his face calm and innocent nothing out of the ordinary like he wasnt choking me,i let go of his hands and he squeezed me tighter eventually i gave out and the last thing i heard he told Kael, "makesure shes okay i cant face murder allegations now". I opened my eyes,the room was filled with tiny rays of sunshine below my feet lay Kael. I got up and washed my face then looked in the mirror,his hands left massive imprints and scars on me,my left side of the face was swollen and i had bruises. I sighed,its not a big deal afterall he took me from a home i wasn't appreciated and gave me a whole new life. I changed my clothes and wore something decent,Kael was still sleeping on the bed and i decided to go take a stroll outside,it'd started to rain but the garden had these massive shades that i planned on staying there when i heard his voice once again. 'Where to?' He sounded film and yet demanding. 'I dont want you thinking that i hate you married couples fight all the time besides you and i dont share any history. So now go upstairs and move your things into my room,you'll be sleeping there with me from tonight'. He went back into the living room and i stood there frozen,was he really back for me? Maybe the beating was a mistake? My heart pounded both with joy and fear but i still moved my things into his room. Kael stood at a distance observing me,he didn't say a word until i was done and he left for his home. And for the first time i prepared a meal for him and i,we talked and engaged and it felt magical something ive always prayed for. He listened to me and gave me attention,he held my hand during eating and he complimented me and that night i slept in his arms.
For the next few months and weeks everything was perfect,he'd his weak moments but as long as i was submissive he didn't hurt me. We'd go to diner parties together,he'd take me out and he would take me to work and back home and i was happy to finally have what i was longing for. Apart from that i kept meeting Xavier at the gym and we grew close. My life was finally PERFECT. I smiled sinking into the couch,the sun was setting casting a warm glow over the house,i closed my eyes letting the peace wash over me then the door rang,i mumbled words under my breath as who could it be at this moment,the door rang again this time longer and it rang again and again. 'Im coming!' I shouted angrily. The person on the other side didn't seem to get it they kept ringing the doorbell while knocking this time. I stood in the hallway facingdoor corridor to the door and suddenly it felt long,i sighed softly and made my way there then opened the door, infront of me stood the same woman i saw at the store in her hands were an envelope and a piece of paper,she was crying and immediately we met eyes she fell to her knees and cried on my feet. 'Please help me save my baby'. She said in between her sobbing. 'What baby?'. I touched her shoulders trying to get her to stand. 'Cain got me pregnant and he said if i dont abort then it'll destroy your marriage,please Audrey dont do this to me'. She broke down into tears again. Reality hit me in the face and i let go of her shoulders making her fall back to my feet again,i moved back. I didnt know Cain that well but the thought that he was a cheater was something i always dismissed on my mind,i looked at the woman my eyes blurry within her was something my husband forbide me from having saying it was too much work to raise a child or kids get things messy all time,excuse after excuse but what hurt me the most was the one memory i let him manipulate me into thinking it wasnt a big deal. The memory is still fresh,i was happy about the news the doctor gave me and looking at our sudden change of relationship it wasn't a problem,i went home happy and found him in his office his eyes changed when he saw the paper and my smile turned to a frown,he hit me in the stomach multiple times and stomped on it like it was nothing like i wasn't a person and when Kael took me to the hospital the doctor said i lost it. That miscarriage broke me because he knew. Coming back to reality the stupid woman touched my feet and wept bitterly besides her Cain was yelling at her to leave while Kael tried to get her up. 'Please Audrey,tell him to just let me keep it and i will never bother your marriage again. I wil leave with the baby too'. I pushed her hands away and went inside,i felt a wave of emotions. Kael left immediately the other woman left and he came to sit next to me. Tears rolled down my face,something i couldn't hide anymore i didnt want to find out about this or if the rumors of him having another woman where true but i just did and they were expecting. I clenched my fists, 'silly me.' He just looked at me. 'I guess if i ask i will get blamed huh? And if i act understanding and submissive i will still get blamed isnt that so?' I stood up. 'Do you know what hurts the most? You made a fool out of me,everyone knew and i clung to you like a child afraid of getting lost i forced this marriage to work when you had other plans,im the biggest fool alive and yet i still said nothing to her when she was just outside my door. I know my words mean nothing to you,you probably dont even care'. I went upstairs and locked the bedroom door,he didnt even try to run after me or talk. When i came down a couple hours later the house was empty,just me again,i packed the small things i came with that i still had left and left living everything he bought for me behind. I appeared at Xaviers house with muddy feet and some torn clothes,he scanned me with worry but still let me in. He never asked what was wrong and i cried on his shoulders for the night. When i woke up i was in his bed while he slept on the couch facing the bed. My eyes were puffy but my mind kept on telling me to just move forward like i knew this would happen i just ignored it on the other hand it hurt so much i couldn't bring myself to get out of bed so i laid there feeling numb and yet every emotion stinging i kept sighing out loud in fear that if i dont i might actually cry and i didnt want to be a burden to Xavier so i did the only thing i could think of,ran away again. I wasn't suicidal but i sat overlooking the dam several thoughts crossed my mind,i looked like a mess and people just thought i was crazy or something. I looked densely at the mass waters each flow slowly calming me down then i closed my eyes imagining what would've become of me if i didnt know him,something better,i smiled. The sound the water made brought me peace.
'Committing suicide wont help'. I turned to see Kael. I jumped up and hugged . 'What are you doing here?'.
'Ummm the lady and co-owner of the Moonstone companies is missing,i had to come look for you'.
'I left him'. I looked down. 'I cant be unhappy Kael. How did you even find me?'. He looked at a car across the street and inside was him.
'He couldn't talk to you so he sat outside the gate amd watched you leave,he followed you at Xaviers and he followed you here....'
'Why?'
'Just go and talk. Let it out before you let it bottle up and it brings more trouble'. He went in the opposite direction and i headed hesitantly for the car. I entered. His eyes were puffy too,his hair a mess, he looked at me. 'I cant let you stay in another mans house'.
'We're not sleeping together'. I was firm.
'We're not yet divorced and i don't feel comfortable with you staying there'.
I laughed. 'You didnt even explain yourself or anything and you went straight to the divorce talk wow Cain im yet again a fool for thinking you actually have feelings'. I slammed the door and went back. My mind was free,i had no thoughts it was like i was just existing, i wasnt angry that he cheated but i was angry that i held on for too long forcing something that wasnt there and in the end i was still getting hurt. I knew i wasnt going to stay with Xavier so i grabbed my phone to try and find help from someone and the only person was Kael while the other option was abusing the title of co-founder but i wasnt ready for that battle. I buried my hands between my legs, still feeling numb but yet every heartache stinging me,i sighed heavily. Was this how i will end?.I woke up the next morning, Xavier must've already left and i cleaned and tried some yoga but my mind still had sad thoughts so i decided to go do some grocery shopping for Xavier. As i breathed in the fresh air from the walk i felt peace for the first time since everything changed. I got into the store and happily went through the isles then i saw her again. I scoffed. Does life hate me this much that scenarios keep on repeating themselves? But this time he wasn't there,relief washed down my body. I looked around making sure he wasnt there then i slowly walked towards her,she was stroking her damn belly and as i passed her she stopped me with her hand and i brushed it aside.
'Im really sorry Audrey. I didn't mean any of this'. She said still stroking it. I nodded. 'How'd you feel if someone took away the best thing that happened to you,huh? You cant get it Maze,you are just the sidechick'. She looked down probably guilt washing over her then i added, 'you could've had all the men in the world but you chose to take mine,you chose to destroy my marriage and for that i will forever hate you,this is something i cant forgive'. Before i could go she touched my hand and went on her knees,tears building up in her eyes but my heart wasnt having it.'I know as a fellow woman i didnt do something admirable but i had reasons'. She said sobbing.
'I dont want to hear anything'.
'Please Audrey'. She cried. 'Cain cut all ties with me, he wont talk or listen to me he says until your marriage works out again him and i have nothing to talk about'.
'Hows that my problem?'.
'I cant support this baby alone ive nothing please talk to him for me'.
I laughed. 'You must be stupid Maze'. I pushed her aside. 'Audrey please. I know what i did was a mistake which i would correct if i could go back' she pleaded
'I will do just one thing and it shouldn't be talking to him'.
'Take care of my child for me when im gone'. She got up and left leaving me thinking of how and why she'd say something like that to me. I couldnt brush off the feeling that came with her words and they haunted me. I finished shopping quickly and went home but something was still bothering me,did she want to just rub it in?did she mean it?what was on her mind? Unanswered questions raced through my mind then i heard a knock and it was Kael. 'Im not going back' i said as he entered and sat down. 'He arranged a house for you to stay' he threw some documents on the table and i went through them. Cain had bought a mansion and registered it in my name behind that were expensive cars and penthouses. I scoffed. Was he really trying to buy me back with all this. 'i won't take it' I threw the papers back at him. 'you don't want him to come here right? Audrey he's mad,angry even, he's bothering everyone just please go talk to him or accept this' he snapped at me, standing furiously.
'dont yell iat me I'm your boss' I shouted.
'im not yelling. He's selfish and self absorbed but I know onething he loved you and he still does love you'
'he wouldn't cheat then!'
He smirked. 'I dont know why he did that but i know that,that man is going to perish without you'. He put the papers back down and left. Everything felt strange today and not even in a good way. Some part of me wanted to be happy but some part reminded me of the abuse and humiliation I tolerated in the name of love and being submissive. I picked up the papers one last time,weighing my options,if I took them then I've fallen into whatever trap he had installed and if I don't take it then it won't take long before everyone notices that him and I aren't together anymore. I wasn't about to destroy him and I would never,I sat down letting the papers slip from my hand,what was I doing to myself? Why couldn't I make a decision on my own?
'i heard everything and I think I maybe of help'. Xavier said. Frightening me as I noticed he'd walked in minutes ago.
'i will take anything at this point'. I said as tears went down. I was helpless as I was desperate in my mind being with another man was what I thought freedom or a free pass and Xavier suggested exactly that, 'we should be together for a while until you get yourself together ', those where his exact words and at the moment I didn't think of anything that would harm me,I just wanted to get Cain off my mind.
My relationship with Xavier took off quickly and by that time I'd already taken favor in the Moonstone companies. I saw Cain from time to time and we did talk but all that meant nothing,that was how I convinced myself daily. Some might say I made a comeback that every woman owes themselves but I was still in misery even though I stayed positive something made it hard for me to accept Cain wasn't mine anymore. I lived in the house he'd provided with Kael,Xavier and I were already talking marriage. As usual it was a sunny afternoon,I'd just gotten off work and went on our lunch date with him when I met Cain's mother.
'Audrey', she smiled, 'how have you been?'.
I hesitated. 'im good ma'. I looked down.
'this must be your fiance'. She eyed him,judging him. I nodded. He excused himself and she held my hands. 'i apologize on behalf of my son's stupidity ', she knelt. 'please forgive him'.
'ma please get up. All this isn't necessary '. I helped her up and she looked at me with tears forming.
'Audrey he loves you,he's a wreck without you. Things fell apart when you left and it's been hard for him'
'no I can't do this now'.
She stopped me with her hand before I could leave. 'the lady is going into labor today,check on him for my sake'. And with that she left. Labor,I sighed heavily, 'he must be happy' I said to myself. Tears formed in my eyes and that day played again in my head,dark thoughts clouded my mind and I panicked. 'honey,I got your cakes for to go', Xavier said scaring me into a shriek, 'is everything okay?',he asked looking into the direction my former mother inlaw just went. I only shook my head then he dropped me at home,my mind was still floody and I zoned out completely something in me cared,not about the woman but for Cain,I needed to know if he was alright. I nervously sat down,fingers trembling as I glanced at the clock the time read 3:54pm,my heart came to a stop the only thing loud was my heavy breathing,my chest became tight. The next thing I knew Kael was fanning me while pouring water when I came to we were outside,I sat up and I saw pity in his eyes. 'its about Cain right?' he eyed me.
'no....' I was ashamed. The gate opened and his car pulled up,the relief that rushed through my body was unexplainable,he came down and rushed to hug me, crying. 'whats going on Cain?', I asked and kael excused himself.
'she gave birth to a baby boy'
'whats bad about that?' I stroked his hair
'shes dead due to complications', he squeezed me tightly pulling me closer to him, 'i can't raise a child on my own,I need you'.
I wiped his tears and held his head to my chest. 'Cain, you need me to be a nanny cause the one who destroyed our marriage is dead?'
'no. I want you to be a mother to the child I can only give material things to. Audrey please you know me,I may not be a good influence on him'. He cried.
' I will be there for him but I'm only doing this for you'.
I woke up the next morning early for my wedding dress shopping then Cain arrived with the child. 'ive somewhere to go please leave' I said.
' he's been crying since yesterday please just help me' he said looking stressed,worried and tired. I took the baby from his arms then called Kael to go get me some baby staff and products while I prepared a shower for him. 'babies can sense tension within a parent,it's something I came up with so you need to take care of yourself and be patient ' I said while looking at him.
'its my first', he chuckled, 'im still learning'.
'such a cute boy,what's his name?'
'i haven't decided yet. Could you name him for me'.
I looked at the boy,his face made me smile,brought warmth into my heart like he was mine. 'Mthunzi,an African name translated from the word Shade in English, meaning he is protected,safe and cared for', the child made laughter noises and I snapped out realizing it's not mine, 'unless you want to change it'.
He looked at me. 'Mthunzi is just fine'. Kael got back and I bathed the child,fed him and he napped in my arms,I kept looking at him so innocent. 'you'll grow up to be independent and prosperous, you'll never lack and I'll make sure you never know any troubles', I mumbled to him, smiling. ' AUDREY!'. My heart skipped a beat as I turned to see Xavier. Shoot I'd forgotten I had an appointment at the dress store and it was already late. I tried finding a place to lay the baby but Xavier had already found me,he layed a slap on my face and the baby woke up, crying.
'what the hell did you just do?' Cain said from behind me.
'you ditched me in the important months of our life for this. Let me guess, thats his baby right?' he shouted with that question. I held the child close trying to soothe him.
'i asked a question'. Cain was loosing his patience.
'im sorry about your child but I'm talking to my fiancee here' Xavier was a bit rude
'i don't care about the child. You laid a hand on her' he rolled his sleeves.
'i don't see how that affects you'.
Cain grabbed him and begun hitting him, Kael pulled them apart and Xavier angrily left.
[DAYS LATER]
It was the day of my wedding, everything was set and lovely. For the past few days, Xavier and Cain maintained there anger towards each other while I kept my close relationship to Mthunzi,alot of people didn't know I wasn't the mother and I kept it like that some might say I was a fool for taking in the child of a mistress but this child was innocent and knew nothing and yes maybe I am a fool but I loved him like my own. I looked in the mirror,my reflection shining in the white gown,I smiled. The door opened. 'Kael,do you think I should put gloves on or not?', I said still checking myself out. Before I noticed a large man wrapped his hands on my face blocking me from screaming,as I begun to fight for my life another man tied me up,they covered my eyes and took me out of there. It wasn't a long drive and when they took the blindfold off my eyes met Cain and Kael. I got angry,I knew exactly why he napped me. He looked at Kael and smiled then said, ' I possibly couldn't let you marry, you and I aren't divorced and you are the mother to my child' he smirked. This was just the beginning of my life when I thought it was done.
