“Dear God, What Kind of Product Design Is This?”
~ Dr. Mukesh Aseemit
O Divine Manufacturer,
Greetings — and more importantly, a gentle but urgent request:
Before you decide to relaunch the product called “Human” into the market again, please consider running a full-scale review. Or better yet, just discontinue “Human Model – Version 1.0” altogether. And if You must relaunch, may I humbly suggest appointing a real saint or a wandering monk as the R&D head? Because the current version feels like a faulty prototype — overflowing with software bugs, and the hardware? Looks fancy on the outside, but hollow like some Made-in-China toy.
Let’s file the first complaint — about the mouth.
Why, dear Lord, did you connect it to the brain instead of the stomach? That’s a serious design flaw! Now it doesn’t just eat food, it devours people’s peace, sleep, appetite, and sometimes — their very soul.
Once upon a time, this same mouth recited the Vedas. Today it spews venom straight from WhatsApp University. Words aren’t arrows anymore — they’re grenades.
Who needs bullets or blades, when a single tweet can assassinate humanity?
Now about the eyes — oh, brilliant design: triple-layer lens, 4K resolution, natural color correction. But sadly, these eyes don’t seek truth anymore — just status updates.
Show them hunger, unemployment, or injustice — and they scroll past like hitting “Skip Ad.”
But one glimpse of someone’s wife, bungalow, or BMW — and boom! Instant autofocus. AI tracking: activated.
Next up — ears.
Why such tiny audio ports, God?
Perhaps because people no longer listen, they just want to hear.
See the irony — everyone’s walking around with ₹10,000 headphones… not to hear more, but to block out anything meaningful.
You gave us sound inputs, but forgot to ship patience and comprehension in the box.
Now people only hear what matches their thought bubble. Everything else? Mute. Unsubscribe.
And oh — shoulders!
Once the foundation of homes, the support beams of society… now drooping like a spineless Wi-Fi signal.
And fingers, God — what multi-purpose marvels You made!
But alas! These fingers now make reels on Insta, or trend hashtags that sink reputations on Twitter.
The same fingers that once strummed the veena now endlessly scroll up and down, chanting the new mantra: “Next! Next! Next!”
They’re still used for voting — which is noble.
But shouldn’t they also be raised when the system fails?
So dear Lord, just one final plea —
Next time you sculpt a figure from clay,
please attach a user manual!
Because this time it feels like you launched “Project Human” straight from the lab to the shelf — no testing, no tutorials.
Result?
The app called “Humanity” has crashed.
There’s no issue with your design, God — but if the manual had a bit of spirituality built in, maybe this “Human Version 2025” would’ve been less filtered reel and more real feel.
As it stands, the Play Store is full of apps like “Hypocrisy”, “Ego Pro Max”, and “Bakwas-101”.
Please, consider a version update.
And next time, make it bug-free — and bhagwan-aware.
