Moisture in the eyes
Loneliness teaches a person a lot. I have also learnt a lot from my loneliness. It becomes very difficult for a single woman to live in society. All the eyes of the world probe the physical plane of the woman, search for something and interpret it in their own way. Whoever wants to interpret, whatever he wants to say, he keeps saying that. As many heads, so many thoughts. If a man lives alone, then probably not so many things happen, but if a woman lives alone, then instead of supporting her, the society makes her life difficult. All the contractors of the society stand up with their flags raised.
Today I was lost in my own thoughts, sitting in the balcony of my house, thinking about my past and future. The mood of the weather also keeps changing by looking at the face like the contractors of the society. The pleasant sunshine was looking good in the cold weather. Due to being lost in thoughts, I did not realize when the sunshine had covered itself behind the clouds, sitting on the other side of the clouds. After the sudden cold, I looked at the sky and felt that it was going to rain. I kept sitting there in the balcony, and was still lost in my thoughts, unable to decide whether I should go inside and get a Stole or just sit like this. I did not feel like getting up, so I kept sitting. I started thinking, let me talk to these clouds. The clouds were gathering and appearing in many shapes. A shape in the clouds was smiling, it seemed that it was saying something or that its ego was spilling over the drops it had gathered inside it. Then another shape emerged, a solitary cloud among the clouds, which was struggling to save its existence. It was looking like a woman among a crowd of avid male clouds was trying to save herself. And the cloud seemed to be taking it in its embrace and ending its existence. But then it started raining, as if the crushed existence of that female like small cloud was falling drop by drop on the earth, I kept watching all this silently. A little bit of water was visible in the open part of the balcony. My eyes were fixed on these drops falling on the balcony. These drops falling from the sky hit the floor and bounced up again, as if they were trying to jump back and join their clouds, or were protesting against the cruelty of that cloud, I don't know. All of sudden I listened a whisper -
-You are thinking right, we are raindrops
We drops had formed the clouds by joining together
and when we became a burden on that cloud,
we had to break apart,
You cannot know the pain of breaking
We bear it on our body
The story of our sorrows does not end here
The pain of breaking apart after hitting the earth
And then the pain of perishing is borne by us
Still, we are happy
that our breaking gives new life to the dry seeds
lying in the womb of the earth
I spoke
-Wahoo!
you raindrops speak too?
Your pain is indeed justified,
but how did you think that I cannot understand
your pain
I understand what it is to be broken, what loneliness is
It hurts to be separated from your loved ones,
I know everything
Loneliness teaches a person a lot, but it also breaks
The drop said again
- So, you live alone,
Why do you live alone? You have no one,
what happened
I, the drop of rain,
May I sit in your eyes as tears,
and we both will be together and may care each one
Just take care that you don't let me fall from your eyes
Your eyes seem to be the safest for my existence
Tell me, tell me, will you give me a place in your eyes?
Now tears really don't come to my eyes, maybe there were none left. And this drop wants to moisten my eyes again. It wants to create a desire for happiness even in the pain of my dry, petrified eyes. Then she said softly
- Look, I have told you my pain
Now you tell me your pain,
tell me the reason
for the drying of tears from your eyes,
tell me something
And what all would I say that tiny drop of rain. How would I tell it how we break all our dreams. Why do we see such dreams which are only meant to be broken? Who knows for how long I kept wandering with her in this jungle of thoughts, then there was a knock on the door, the milkman was calling for milk outside. And with calm and steady steps, I took the milk and went towards the kitchen to make tea.
I felt that the drop had really come and settled in my eyes. I understood how the eyes which had been frozen for years suddenly became moist but today I have to protect the drop. I will not let this drop fall now. It has to be kept safe now and I will keep it safe. The pain, I have suffered, it has suffered, I will not let it suffer anymore. And think that when a male child is born, he comes out of the womb only after kicking his mother's womb, it is true that a girl is also born in the same way but she feels that kick throughout her life and prepares herself to take that kick on herself. When does a man feel that kick which he had given to his mother, he keeps kicking that woman throughout his life considering her only a toy. I have to Keep it safe, I will answer those clouds, which had dropped it considering it a burden. I will answer all those contractors of the society who consider women and femininity only as their property. Cloud is masculine and drop is feminine, woman and feminine are not made only to break and scatter and lose their existence, they also have their own existence. Anyway, that small drop itself has said that only when it ends, the seed lying on the earth germinates. It is this drop that prevents the infertility of the earth. By losing its own existence. It is this woman who makes a man, a man from carrying him in her womb to raising him.
Today this drop has made me realize that I am not really alone, with me now every moment there is also that raindrop sitting in my eyes which reminds me that I have to struggle, I have to struggle against the fiefdom of the contractors of the society, against those chains of the society in which a conspiracy is hatched to tie the woman and make her helpless, I just have to struggle.
