Can men and women be friends only
Can men and women remain friends only ? The question is a complex one and the answer can be either way - yes or no .
It’s natural to be attracted towards the opposite gender or sex. A Man and a woman may have known each other since childhood and might have been just friends and not lovers . But they didn’t marry .Post marriage each of them may continue in the same relationship . Particularly during isolation ( temporary or long term or permanent ) they will like to continue their friendship .But our society makes it harder for them to continue in friendship.Social norma and barriers interfere with cross sex friendship . This is not recognized as normal even if they had been childhood friends .
This type of relationship between two unrelated opposite sex persons is called Platonic love or cross sex friends .
Now the answer to the above question can be YES , if the following aspects are under your control -
1 . Sexual and Emotional attraction - As said it’s natural to have attraction for the other sex. This can be due to emotional or sexual feelings . But that should not be a reason to forego your mutual friendship . Just be in control of yourself .
2 . Mutual Boundaries - Both man and woman must have a strong willpower to set a boundaries for each other which must not be crossed like a Laxman Rekha .
3 . Needs - We are social animals and everyone has his/ her needs . There must be different needs to keep trapped in friendship . Sexual needs , ALLTIME NO.
4. Good communication and Open mind - With all the above in mind , good communication , open mind and commitment to manage attractions within set boundaries , the foundation of friendship will remain solid and stable.
5. Be supportive - Such friends must share good / bad moments and be supportive to each other’s goals / ambitions .
6. Shared resources - They can share resources like pets , children, vehicles etc .
7 . Suppress Romantic feelings - It’s natural to have cross sex romantic feelings . At the same it’s not too difficult to suppress them which can make it easier to remain friends only.
Sex often gets in the way . A study shows that LGBTQs are more liable to remain satisfied in friendship with their ex romantic partners than heterosexuals . With heterosexulas it is extremely tough even if they have never been romantically involved. Usually people wonder if such a friendship is viable . But studies have shown there are such people when married men / women are known to each other through childhood or long term colleagues . In such cases their partners also have no problem but often they don’t like them meeting alone or their partners seeking cross sex new friends .
In many cases where such friends practically prefer to forget / to avoid their former cross sex friends after marriage .
Though it’s possible for man and woman to be friends only , In general, cross sex friendship often raises eyebrows in society because sex part gets in the way . It’s believed that men may cross the boundaries to enter into a woman's world .
Can men and women be friends only ? Now let us look the other way -
The answer can be NO also -
Though attraction for the opposite sex is natural , men and women experience cross-exx friendship in different ways at different stages of relationship . Male is more attracted towards the female and more often than the woman is attracted towards the man .
Men and women are not at the same platform if either partner is already married . It is seen that if the man friend is already married or having a romantic relationship with another woman , the female friend will not usually be interested in having a romantic relationship with him . On the other hand, even if the female friend is already married or having a romantic relationship the male friend has no issues and can still be interested in her . Thus we see that men are less comfortable with just being friends with women and have a difficult time in maintaining the LOC ( line of control ) .
In another study results were surprising . It is believed that the attitude of attraction for female friends is more in younger males .Younger males were only four times more likely than females to report romantic attractions as a plus point of having female friends . Older men were ten times more likely to have this attitude .
Also even if a man and woman are just friends , a friendly hug may arouse the male friend romantically .The catalyst or the culprit is said to be poor breasts coming in the way .
Throughout the history of natural friendships it has been seen that men were involved with men and women with women . Even in childhood boys gravitate towards boys and girls towards girls.
Sometimes emotional affairs may cause havoc in married life . People may not cross limits to have physical relationship in a friendship , Even then emotional affairs ( which is non sexual ) between a person and someone other than his / her spouse impacts adversely their married life. It’s extremely hard to justify or defend the friendship and can even result in break ups .
Bottom line - Friendship between Men and women is always on the sword's edge and at the receiving end . Particularly married men and women friends should avoid meeting their cross sex friends ( present or past ) alone , i.e. meet in presence of a third person preferably his / her spouse .
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