Types of love
What is Love - Love is such a word and such a thing that everybody likes to have in his or her life - throughout life or at least at some point of time. Love is attraction and / or attachment between two persons , how you feel or like the other guy. . It’s a feeling by your heart towards the other person. Love for our friends , family members , life partner or romantic partners is felt differently - It is a complicated emotional feeling which people feel differently .It may be a passionate love , which might be romantic love which may further involve sexual desire. On the other hand Love may be compassionate as is seen between caregivers and children or long term relationship with romantic partners or other close bondage between two persons .
Love Catalyst - Just like in a chemical reaction is accelerated by an agent called Catalyst Love has also a catalyst that triggers noticeable change or actions in your behavior or attitude .
As per Indian and Hindu Dharma - Love consists of a series of ladders through which one can climb to know ultimate love . What is important is that we need not be stuck at lower ladders .As Swami Vivekanand said “ If one would expand , he must love , and when he ceases to love he dies .”
There are 5 stages of love as per Indian Philosophy -
Kama - This is a desire to love through physical attractions including sex .
Shringaar - This is erotic attraction between two lovers by seeing each other as an incarnation of their cravings. They play games , exchange gifts , engage in hobbies and share secrets .
Maitri - This is an act of kindness for others , like giving love in moderate ways like giving help to any needy persons , not only friends or family members . It is natural to love your own children but Maitri in true sense means Matru love , which is the least selfish love for all her children . Maitri says love not only for biological children but for all living bodies .
Bhakti - This love is not for any person but the towards creator of the world i.e. God. God doesn’t mean here just a deity or idol but pure truth and kindness . This is seen in true sages and saints .
Atma Prem- In simple meaning -This is self loving . This love is not directed outwards for others . If you don’t love yourself you probably can’t love others also . It is not simply self loving but also seeing self in others and vice versa .
Unfortunately in day to day life love is usually confined to the materialistic and the sexual element these days .
Types of Love as per Greeks - The Greeks have described 8 types of Love -
1 . Eros ( a passionate or romantic love ) - Eros is Greek God of love. This love begins with thrills and emotions in relationship with the other person in your life . This induces , liking , infatuations and attractions including sex toward the other guy. This type of love might fade over time . It is expressed by admiring physical body , touch - kissing or embracing and other romantic affections. Here Catalyst is Physical Body or Hormones .
2 . Pragma ( Enduring Love ) - Pragma is the kind of love where deep commitment is involved as a conscious choice that may take a long time to develop through deep attachment and mutually shared experience. This is the love seen in arranged marriages lasting for decades and matures with time . This is also a combination of both passionate love and compassionate love which leads to an enduring and positive relationship. It needs commitment to each other by conscious choice. Etheric subconsciousness plays as catalyst agent. It needs efforts to continue to reinforce relationships possibly everlasting by both partners .
3. Agape ( Universal Love ) - This kind of love is pure selfless love which can be seen in saints . This love is a compassionate love which involves kindness towards all , universally . This is usually one way love , you don’t want anything in return . It’s a pure and unconditional love. Our own spirit is the catalyst agent. Agape love needs one’s dedication towards benefitting others or improving lives of others. It needs your time and charity for others or mankind.
4 . Ludus ( playful love ) - This is a flirting and funfull type of love. There is no commitment towards the other person you love , just enjoy for the time being . This is seen in early stages of relationships also when you find people flirting , crushing, having sex with each other. This may not end up in full grown relationships. Here the catalyst agent is emotion . This is shown by flirting, spending time and getting benefits from the other person .
5 . Philia ( affectionate love ) - Philia love is a platonic love that develops into a deep long lasting love . It has respect and care for the one you love. You have utmost confidence in him or her . Philia love may be for siblings or a close friend . It does not have romantic or sexual desire but still has deeper emotional bonding . In this type of love the catalyst is Mind. It can be seen as deep conversations with a friend , supporting and helping in times of need and being trustworthy all the time.
6 . Mania ( obsessive love ) - This type of love is obsessive in nature. One will be emotionally dependent and need constant assurance and reassurance in such a relationship. Depending on how accommodating your partner is in your needs ,you will feel utmost pleasure or sorrow. Jealousy can be a cause of concern due to possessiveness in this love. Here your survival instinct is the catalyst.
You can find these in Mania - Possessiveness and envy , quickly overwhelmed by thoughts , forcing a partner to display affection and emotion , and easy frustration .Mania can be avoided by - having trust in relationship ,focussing more on self
7 . Philautia ( self love ) - This love is self loving and self compassion by self pampering with self care activities. . This type of love is good as far as self respect and self confidence and self feel good are concerned . It is said that if you have more love for yourself you are in a position to offer more love to others also. But selfish Philutia love which believes in taking without returning is not good.
Soul is the love catalyst here . This type of love is shown by creating an atmosphere that takes your care , spending time with people who support you and using someone for your advantage.
8. Storge ( familial love ) - Storge love is the love seen and shared between family members and childhood friends , especially close ones e.g - parents , grandparents or siblings loving and helping you and vice versa , childhood friends accompanying you in your happy and bad days. This love is deeply rooted , protective and compassionate . It is somewhat similar to Philia but differs as it’s connected by blood or childhood memories .
Characteristics of Storge love - familiarity , acceptance , affection , support , trust . long lasing and gratitude. Your memories are Catalyst for such love.This love is shown by - sacrificing your time or pleasure for whom you love , forgive for something not good for you and sharing memorable events and moments
Bottomline- All forms of love may exist simultaneously in a matured heart . There isn’t any hard and fast rule for every relationship. Just like a bouquet of flowers is a combination of different flowers , one can utilize a combination of different types of love in a relationship which can be beautiful and leave everlasting memories .
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