Dark gloomy sky was weeping above,
Pouring torrents of rain.
As if nature was empathising with me,
And crying alongside, in my pain.
My clothes and my heart were equally drenched,
As I stood there heartbroken, sad and subdued.
The universe was laughing at me,
After being harsh and rude.
It had taken away my most precious treasure from me,
Evangeline: my love, my life.
My heart constricted in my chest,
As if someone had twisted in a knife.
Standing in the downpour, I realised...
As we gradually lowered her rosewood casket,
She now belonged to another world,
And the earth had embraced her in its coarse blanket.
Evangeline - My Evangeline,
My dear wife now sleeps here, lying in peace.
Her pains and chaos have finally come to an end,
And all her troubles ceased.
For two years she lay painfully in bed,
With cancer taking away most of her umber hair.
Leaving her sick and fragile,
But she still looked pretty in her creamy skin so fair.
Emily came close and hugged me tight,
“Dad, Mom’s vacuum can never be filled
I’m there with you, be strong,
Let’s pick up the pieces, for life needs to be rebuild.”
“I’ll be fine my dear, don’t you worry,
Memories of your mom are way too many,
They’ll help me survive and get by,
Until I breathe my last sigh.”
As the ceremony came to an end, I thanked each one present,
And moved around the cemetery with a heavy heart.
I refused to go back home when Emily asked me to,
I wanted to linger around and be with my significant half.
I sat by her grave and cried my heart out,
Till my voice was hoarse and my eyes swollen red.
Henceforth sleep would never come without a lament,
Even in the most warm and cosy bed.
As darkness set in making everything more gloomy and funereal,
Dreading to enter the empty, lonely house,
Unwillingly I dragged myself and walked back to my residence,
How am I going to live the rest of my days with this grievance?
* * * * *
Looking at a picture of ours I chuckled under my breath,
As reminiscences of what she’d said, hit my head.
“Davi, please smile, its free and doesn’t cost a thing.”
We had taken a selfie next to our freshly painted garden shed.
“Oh Eva!” I smiled and shook my head,
As I kept the album back in the cupboard.
Eva - as I called her lovingly,
I was David for the world,
But for her, I was her Davi.
It’s been a month since she found her new home in heaven above,
And all I’ve done in the past thirty days,
Is keep looking at her clothes, jewelry and gifts exchanged,
Each one bringing back memories of her cheerful ways.
Taking time from her family, Emily comes in almost everyday.
Trying to convince me, it’s time to give them away.
All of Eva’s stuff, but I just don’t have the heart to do so,
Her things give a feeling of her still being in the house.
And surely keeps sadness at bay.
Time to follow the routine, pay her a visit, she’s waiting for me.
I kneel down and clear away yesterday’s flowers,
Replace them with a fresh bouquet of daffodils.
Her all time favourite, be it any season, any hour.
“Hi sweetheart! Sorry I’m late. I was going through all our pictures.
Even at sixty, you still looked so graceful.
Selfies brought back our funny moments together.
Eva, those days were certainly wonderful!"
"Our housekeeper Martha came to return the money you'd lent her.
I told her to keep it, knowing that's what you'd have done.
She cried with me and praised you saying,
"Never have I seen a golden heart like hers under the sun."
I sat by her side and recounted
All that had transpired through the day.
I lit a candle and prayed for her,
And sat there till I had nothing more to say.
* * * * *
"Happy fortieth anniversary my love!"
I wished her, as I lowered the daffodils on her grave.
In five years I've paid her a visit everyday.
"I still haven't learnt to live without you.
Eva, I still don't know how to be brave."
I wiped my tears and chuckled,
"Coming Sunday, Richard will turn four.
Our grandson is a handsome young boy.
Emily has been an amazing daughter,
She tries her best to fill my life with joy."
"Eva...
Love for you can never cease,
Can never become less.
Just pray that God blesses me with strength,
In these infinite times of distress.”
“The living years we've spent together,
Are far more soulful and hold endless memories.
The shadow cast by them is helping me survive,
Without your physical pleasantries.”
“I'm sure not to live beyond what we've lived together.
The reason I’ve been able to pull so far without you,
Is our grandson and our dear Emily.
At my age, I’m sure my days are numbered and very few.”
“I don’t want to interfere in God’s planning,
That doesn’t diminish my eagerness to be with you.
Very soon we’ll be together for eternity,
I’m keeping patience darling, you keep it too.”
-Shamim Merchant
------------------------------------------------------------------------
