Do you fear ‘Fear’?
We all have grown up hearing ‘dar ke aage jeet hai’, but how many of us actually act upon it? This four letter word ‘FEAR’ is enough to either make a person do something that he does not want to (courtesy-Crime Patrol), or impedes a person from doing what he wants to. Eh…. Confused?
Is it natural for a human to fear or is it man made? If it is natural, then why is a baby unafraid of anything? A baby in its innocence wants to experience everything. It will put his hand in the fire, run freely on the street, play with a knife without any sign of fear on his face, because in its natural tendency it is programmed to live a fearless life. It will keep doing it till one day he gets hurt and learns a lesson, and from next moment it will be careful about it not because he fears but now he has learnt from his experience what will be the consequence.
Likewise we are programmed to experience, learn and live. But in order to discipline and control the baby, we have chalked an easy way out and instill fears in him which actually sometimes even doesn’t exist! Like don’t go out, there is a ghost out there and it will take you. Like eat this food otherwise I will not get you your toy. Like if you keep crying, God will punish you! Ahh…what a mean way to raise a child! And they have such a pure soul, that they completely believe you. The seed of fearing everything is sowed now, and shall remain till he dies and with it dies his dreams along. His confidence dies a premature death. You should be lucky if your child lives a fearless life and not complain about it.
Sadguru, the mystic, has rightly defined fear as ‘being afraid of something that does not exist.’ Something, which is not in existence right now.
Like for example, I am to appear for an examination in 2 days from now. So, at present, I am under the fear of how the paper would be (which is a future situation). During my examination, my fear would be ‘whether I could finish the paper in time’. (again a short term future situation). The moment the exam is done, my fear changes to what my result would be. (a future situation again). An interesting thing to notice here is I don’t fear the situation when the situation is a reality, when I am actually in that situation, but at that time I fear about another future situation. After the result is announced, my fear again changes to will I get a good job , which is again in future. So, the length and the breadth of it is we fear everything which is beyond our control. When the paper is in your hand (which is a reality), you automatically stop fearing of how the paper would be because, the situation is somehow in your control as you gather that you know the answers. But suddenly, another fear pops out at the same time, of whether you will be able to finish it in time, which at the time of reading the paper, is a future situation and out of your control. It’s the fear of unknown that kills us.
Likewise, we fear till our last breath about everything out of our control, till the extent that it made us God fearing and at the same time blaming Him for everything wrong in our life!
It is this fear that never allows us to live a full fledged life. Your life will pass away feeding the ‘what if’s?’ and when you look back you will only have one thing to say –‘I wish!’ What a ridiculous way to live a life fearing losing everything every moment! We are tamed by the drama of fear in such a way that we love half heartedly fearing the hurt it might bring along. Hold ourselves back from doing something you want to just because you fear you will not be good at it. Fear of what the society will say and the most important is the fear of death! If you keep digging, there will always be one or more reason of not going ahead in what you want to but that is not the way to live a full satisfied life, is it?
Another angle that I do attach to this concept is the concept of Karma. When you know that whatever you give will come back to you, you don’t need to fear anything, because you already know what is going to come back to you and is not an unknown event. You are mentally prepared, so even in worst circumstances you are prepared and stable.
So, what can we do?
Ask yourself one question- :
‘Are you here to experience life or avoid life?’ this will help you take the decision further.
Stop assuming:-
A hell lot of chances are missed out because of the assumptions in our mind. It’s better to do it and know it for a fact then assume that it is unachievable.
Take the chance:-
If life throws in an opportunity to you, be enthusiastic enough to take it, before your mind starts throwing in the reasons as to ‘why not and what if’s’. Once you accept it, there is no escape, so then start figuring out how to do it? This way there is less room for fear to gear up.
Prepare yourself-:
Once in the situation, be all prepared to face the consequences. Sometimes it will work, sometimes it won’t. But the best part would be the mind blowing experience attached with it. It will definitely make you a better person!
Be flexible and enjoy every situation :-
Live such a life wherein you are happy to be driving a Skoda today and are happy even if tomorrow, it gets replaced with a Maruti 800. Do you have those guts? Carve yourself into such a person who has the power to earn as much as he wants to but at the same time is capable of living in the mere facilities happily. How will the fear hit you now, tell me. Enjoy every situation however bad it is and you will be able to pass that easily.
Train your thoughts and emotions:-
Your mind is a powerful tool, it will do exactly what you talk it into. So, why not use it to the best. Train it to remain stable in all the situations. Remember to give your best efforts in any given situation , and accept that you cannot do anything beyond it. So automatically you stop thinking about the situations out of your control. Immediately, divert that energy into doing something within your control and which is meaningful.
Always appreciate yourself:-
Even if you could not make it, look into your eyes in the mirror and appreciate yourself for being the one who tried it. It will not be always that you will succeed, so you need your best self to hold onto your confidence when you don’t get through. It’s better to fight a battle and then accept defeat rather than accepting it without fighting, assuming that you will lose.
Let’s stop giving fear the undue importance! Let’s not live half heartedly! None of your fear, stress , anxiety is going to make things happen your way, it’s just a sure short way to increase your blood pressure though. If you want all well for yourself then, there is only one way that is within your control that is your thoughts and actions. Don’t wait for things to happen your way. Your only job is to keep giving best efforts in all the situations that life throws at you, and it shall boomerang!
