Woman: A Miraculous Feminine Existence
In search of deeper meaning of life
JIRARA
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© JIRARA, March 2020
Published by JIRARA
On matrubharti.com
Disclaimer: This is the work of fiction as far as all the characters, their names and the names of all the events are concerned and all these are imaginary and hence any resemblance to the persons (and their lives) dead or alive, and any places are coincidental. Even if a few events might look realistic/’real’, these are fictionalised and the associated names are changed in order to maintain their (the people’s, events’) privacy, honour, and security. No intention whatsoever is meant to hurt any feelings of whosoever, irrespective of their gender, personal/cultural beliefs, social or political inclinations, religion-orientations/practicing (including any philosophy), life styles, and work/business. The ‘I’, ‘my’, ‘me’, and ‘mine’ (if any used) do not necessarily mean the author of this book, and these and other such pronouns: her, hers, his, he, she, him, you, your, yours, ours, theirs…; are used for effective personification and dramatization, and the readers should not take these on their ‘own persons’.
Please Note: The readers should take these stories/verses/thoughts/ideas with/in good spirit. The presented ideas and material are based, where feasible, on readings and (thought-) analyses of scientific/other open literature (which seemed most profound and trustworthy), with as much care as possibly taken. The readers are requested to verify these notions on their own, and use their own discretion. However, these stories/verses/thoughts/ideas (mostly original) are expressed here with an intention of increasing awareness of the readers with a hope that in an overall sense, their (and ours) consciousness would be heightened (in all and multiple directions), so that we all can live our lives on this planet with true happiness, ever-lasting peace and real joy (irrespective of our orientations). The author and the publisher will not be responsible for any negative effects/situations arising as a result of reading these stories/verses and/or following the suggestions if any. No discussions/dispute of any kind will be entertained at any time and in any way, manner, and/or forum. JIRARA.
Preamble: In the nature, as of now, based on the scientific research (carried out nearly for last two hundred years, or even more) and research findings, there is one possibility of existence of the Universe and all the inert objects, and the biological species; and that is via the process of evolution of the physical universe, and then biological species; and all these have taken thousands/millions of years (to evolve and happen); and due to their vast dimensions, varieties, shapes/sizes/fabulous colours, often complicated structures, and even due to some highly sophisticated (even bizarre) forms, it is difficult for us to believe that this might have/had happened that way; this belief is so despite our highly evolved and ‘thinking’ (humans’) brains, and associated ability of analysis. Since, we have not seen it happening ourselves, we express doubts on this process; however, in the similar way I have not seen my one grandfather, but there is 100% possibility that he must have had existed; beyond any doubt. However, there are a few examples of this process working in shorter times, say a few seconds, days, or months; in case of a very few such biological species. There are also numerous evidences based on: i) theory of physics (and cosmos; mostly supported by hundreds and hundreds of experimental verifications based on the observations and analyses of the collected data), ii) observations of the natural phenomena (rise and setting of the Sun, cycles/phases of moon, eclipses, etc., and many more, iii) fossils (and a lot of past records), iv) carbon (and more types of) dating (to determine the ages of these fossils/specimen; this help establish origin/lineages/ancestors of the various species; this science is by now highly advanced), and v) micro-biology (again highly forward science).
There are other theories in vogue and are mainly based on the principle of ‘creation’; here the evidences are more of philosophical nature, and are often based on some doctrines propounded by some religions; and almost all of these evidences are not supported by direct (or even by some calibrated, like it is done in science) observations; mostly the proofs are of circular type (like, the ‘creator’ created the world; then the question is who in first place created the ‘creator’?). The beauty of the philosophical theories is that everything in the nature can be explained by only one argument: it was created (may be intentionally) and designed (for us) in that way. Hence, one need not labour a point. Unfortunately, with this approach, our search for the actual physical truth nearly stops; this is then anti-thesis of our developing mind and high level of intelligence that are continually curious to search the very truth with reason; and the latter has to be scientific for its long lasting existence, and devoid of any biases and prejudices. The scientific search and investigations provide a lot of excitement, and expand our minds to several dimensions, and confidence in our findings; by now we have more than hundreds of major such discoveries; and many of these have helped us in making a lot of technological advancement; in spheres of medicine/health care, travel in air, travel to space, mobile communications, and so on. Whatever we can formulate, manufacture, and procedurizse is called the ‘design’, and it is termed as ‘designed’ by human (or by the ‘creator’). However, what is evolved in the evolutionary nature, and whatever just looks like the ‘design’ is called ‘designoid’. As such, there are thousands of designs, made/done by the humans in the process of millions of years (of their existence); and yet there are, may be thousands of ‘designoids’ that have evolved over more than millions of years. We in fact have learned many things from ‘these desingoids’ for our own design processes, e.g. flying in air by using aircraft, from birds, and fishes.
While at this point of time we would not like to go into the merits and demerits of these (and other combined) approaches (there are scores of books in favour of one or the other approach); we would time being highlight how we should look at the life and its existence in a more humble and profound way:
A thought: Whether God exists or not, whether we believe in him/her or not, whether we understand him/her or not; WE DO EXIST. In this short span of our lives on this planet, what perhaps best we can do is to help each other, in whatever best feasible way we can do that, based on our ability and time-efforts we can afford to invest; because in this Universe there is as such no (too) long term plan for anybody and anything; it seems the Universe is aimlessly expanding outwards. As humans, then we should continually endeavour to feel and experience the Godhood-of-Love, even in a fractional measure, but in true and honest way; and spread its message to entire humanity (JIRARA).
Thus, according to the nature, it seems that the two types of individuals evolved (time being so many fascinating aspects and features of this process are differed for later exposition): i) the ones who produce/possess only one seed in their wombs (in ovaries), and ii) the ones who have more than one such seeds, in fact in millions (in some organs in their bodies), and these are called spermatozoa (or sperms); this aspect (of sexual differentiation) is based on the observations of the physical/medical facts; of course there might be a few exceptions. We, humans, the scientists/biologists/zoologists named the first category as the females, and the second category as the males. And this phenomenon is observed in (almost) all the biological species, including the mammals and humans. The single-sex species, which are very few, have problems of their own, and they do not have the evolutionary stable strategy (ESS) and do not survive for long; whereas the bisexual species (almost all the ones that existed in the past and are existing now) have been surviving for millions of years, since their strategy of (courting) mating, reproduction (of off-springs/children and their nursing), learning and adaptation has also evolved for these many years and has come to be very much robust, and hence as ESS.
Since, the gestation periods (from the time of conceiving to the time of delivery) vary from species to species, and then the ‘so-called’ females have to feed, nurture, and nourish the off-springs (hatching of eggs, calves, babies, etc.), they have to get bound to some fixed places, and mostly depend on the ‘so-called’ males (who have to go for ‘hunting’, etc.,) who then have the responsibilities of fetching the food for these females, and their off springs. These females then evolved with the virtues of affection, care and love, because of the fact that they remain mostly and always close to these babies, and they wanted their babies to survive for long times; these females have natural affinity to their off-springs, mainly because they came out of their own bodies (i.e. wombs). These females are called by us the ‘mothers’.
According to me, if something was to happen in this Universe, and the world, and if the re-‘creation’/reproduction was to happen, (and if it were unavoidable), then this feminine concept is an awesomely inevitable ‘designoid’; it is a miraculous happening and existence; no man made design is anywhere near to this, in terms of size, sophistication, automation, and robustness.
This book, with the free verses, is a dedication to this extraordinary principle and one of the most profound phenomena of this physical/biological world. (These verses, slightly refined, are reproduced here from the author's previous books published a decade ago.)
This book is also dedicated to:
A house wife – a world poetess
Her fingers dip into the food materials,
And start constructing the stanzas,
Her palms hold a broom stick and while sweeping the floor of her house,
The verses get structured,
The sounds of her beating the clothes with a wooden flat plank,
Add rhythm into these poems,
She selflessly serves the food and more and more she gives,
More poetry flows from her tender fingers.
When tired she takes a small nap and the children wake her up,
The love flows from her heart, and she sounds her poetry,
There is a night-call from her husband,
And while her fingers stroke his body, creating a rhythm,
The divine poetry flows from her self-sacrifice.
Her fingers and palms create a magic wherever she lays them,
That is miraculous poetry, emanating from,
Neat kitchen, clean floors, perfumed bathrooms,
Well-kept cupboards, bedrooms, and her own bed.
She is epitome of eternal affection, care and love,
She is always a giver much more than a taker!
Can any poetry be more profound than her life?
That in the enriched and perfect poetry,
Which she intentionally pens not,
But exhibits from her multifaceted persona,
The life’s poems, not in the words, get crafted,
And the world does not know how to recognise anything beyond the words!
{Note: The world has a limited perception up to the written and spoken words,
Whereas she creates the poetry beyond the words, beaconing new horizons!}
[A house wife–a world poetess is based on the poem ‘Gruhini’,
a house-wife, in Gujarati, by Varsha Barot, Navneet-Smarpan,
June 2010, Bhartiya Vidhya Bhavan, Mumbai].
Woman: A Miraculous Feminine Existence
1. A Mother is Born
Dressed in a bright colourful silk saari, with my body laden with gold,
Bathed in perfume, when as a very young bride into his bedroom I entered,
Succumbed in the embrace of the man in his late fifties,
The fire of the desire engulfing the yester years’ playful childhood.
Memories of splashing in cold rivers, the roaming in the valleys,
In the sands, dusts, green farms, waterfalls, mountains,
On the plane of my mind resurrected, in the darkness of the night,
In the brightness of fire of the desire.
The scenes of the chirping birds, of cows and buffalos grazing,
That time my ramblings in the dreams to be in a town or a city,
To feel the vastness, greatness of the new places, peoples,
All now like the ashes started flying away, with his onslaught at its peak.
The body union transformed my dreams, into the daily chores of life,
Sweeping the floors of the old house, feeding grass to the cattle,
Igniting earthen fire-places, milking cows and buffaloes,
Feeding numerous guests,
As a part of the service to the God of my new life, my new home.
Afternoons of occasional naps, evenings of the waits for my lord,
His own son he wanted me to beget, for he did not have one earlier,
His previous wives had left nothing behind him to cherish.
More of beauty that his eyes had wanted, more of my charming body,
His desire for my flexible body, its tenderness, its softness,
And my obedience to say yes to all his requirements,
All that paid-off one fine day, lo! I gave birth to a male baby.
Soon by the storm the clouds gathered, the inevitable happened,
The black cruel death laid down its carpet of hell on my old man,
A silent sleep forever he slept, leaving me behind with my only son,
Who did not know the meaning of life and death.
Soon stripped of my beautiful ornaments and dreams,
I got dressed in the garments of a widow,
Amongst the relatives mourning for the gone old man,
I resumed the routine vagaries of a new phase of my life,
With tonsured head and with display of courage,
I was re-born as the mother of my new baby.
2. Growth of a Mother
Experiencing full joy, excitement, feeling the sense of fulfilment,
On achieving a proud status of the mother,
She – the mother is borne with the birth of her first child.
She – the mother grows with the growth of the child,
The child growing in the lap and hands of the mother,
Under her care and affectionate love,
The child being the embodiment of the mother,
The mother being the manifestation of the mother-nature,
The nature being its own creation beyond creation, above creation,
The mother grows in her stature, dignity, in the world of her own child,
Carrying the message of the mother-nature.
The child and mother coexist, sharing love and joy from each other,
With the mother growing in the warmth and spirit of this joy.
3. My Other Mother Motali and Her Death
I wrote verses ‘Birth of a mother’, ‘Growth of a mother’,
Yet had no courage to write one on death of the mother,
For I do not want any mother to die ever.
But, the death of all biological species being inevitable,
The death a stark reality, an inevitable blow to human’s confidence.
Finally bowing down to this fact of life,
I penned this verse for my Motali who was small and fragile,
Who displayed a deceptive smile on her face,
Was tender in her nature and simple in her demands,
Was fair, was of thin frame, still highly likeable,
Especially to me, for she whatever I wanted gave me.
His a shared world was between Motali and my own mother,
Always very busy was his with his professional work, and social activities,
That were too many, but he, perhaps, liked it only that way,
Already married once before was he,
With a few children from his first wife, nobody knows much about them.
Motali simple, honest she ever was without any pretensions of any kind,
A bit reserved, a singular, avoiding shows and publicity,
Knowing well her work, demanding no favours.
Anything I wanted she would give me, made special foods for me,
Served me with smile, played with me showering lot of affection,
Guarding my things, stuff, saying prayers to save me from all evils.
She came from a nearby village, a daughter of the head of the village,
Carried an aura of a ‘small beauty queen’,
Unfortunately had created an impression of being lazy, not functioning,
Her fragility was prone to diseases, she started falling sick quite often.
Being routinely treated by medicines,
The injections as if administered to her skeleton,
Still mentally very strong, stubborn, wouldn’t easily give up,
In later days, sick for much longer time she remained, bed-ridden.
One afternoon she gave up, I to ‘yell’ in her ear was summoned,
- “O my mother”, for her own son was far away,
I ‘O my mother’ into her ears yelled, making bonds for eternity.
4. Wonderful You are-A Wife/Mother/Professional Worker
You are really just wonderful - so many virtues, so many abilities,
Effortlessly dealing with so many problems, people daily,
Tirelessly engaging in numerous tasks,
Joyfully completing them, devoid of any desire and selfish demands.
You by leaps and bounds stride, your presence brings serenity,
With calmness, wonderment with peace in the vicinity,
Your resilience with sagacity, an atmosphere of oneness it creates,
An aura of inspiring self-confidence.
5. Resurrection
You rushed unconcerned of the presence of others, yelled at me,
Pulling me out of the bus, in a greater hurry, dragged me on the road,
Along with your friends, poured petrol on me to light me into fire,
Which burnt me completely, my soul left on the path to unknown.
You all gathered there to see me burning to rejoice the ugly,
And un-pious act of yours - others helplessly watching the scene,
You burnt me as if, you would burn a paper or a piece of wood,
My life had no meaning to you, your living no honour to human society.
You dragged me in the kitchen, and poured kerosene on me,
And lighted the match-stick to burn and remove me from your life,
Then told others - I got burnt due to bursting of the stove.
You caught me in a huff with lewd cunning eyes on me,
Torn my garments, floored me to make me ready for your evil desire,
And forcibly destroyed my purity and chastity.
They jailed and released you all on bail, with lots of money spent,
You all got scot-free from the ghastly crime that you had committed,
So effortlessly and wilfully.
You did all that, for I did not belong to your religion,
To your kind or to your thought-line and was too feeble,
Or I did not bring lots of money and dowry for you and your family,
That family of yours is your mother, sister, even your own daughter,
All my kind and my kind only!
6. Her Sub-Space
Her pre-space is orange, white, green,
She is orange-dynamic, evolving, rising,
Fire-hot, bubbling with energy,
She is white – pure, calm, chaste, serene,
She is green – the life provider, cool, wet,
She is all in one and one in all.
She is a mother, sister, wife, daughter, even a grand-daughter,
She is multi-dimensional, multi-faceted,
She resides in us, out of us,
Strides from planet to planet and encompasses the universe,
Her sub-space is the projection of the Cosmos on this physical world.
Wherein we all live together, we believe we live together,
But we are far spread and live on separated islands of our minds,
We often live in narrow cells, compartmentalizing our existence,
We live in contracted space of our needs, suffocating our inner will,
We live separately, but still we know that we live in the same world,
In her space and her embrace – mother Nature.
7. She Slept in Silence
It was a night and black night, something was in air,
something was to go wrong, or already had gone wrong!
Something was smelling foul, unusual - only a few elders knew about it,
or they had some hints what was cooking,
the cooking was to be terribly bad or already it had happened,
the horrible, perhaps unexpected, unacceptable.
There was an atmosphere of utter secrecy,
others in the wedding function were unaware,
of the gravity of the situation.
The (groom’s party and) groom had arrived in the late evening,
to get married to the bride in the neighbourhood,
- the ritual was to last for the entire night.
And the news was, that an important relative (from groom-side),
had just returned back to his home town from where the party,
had just arrived,
from the middle of the journey - why did he return only a few knew.
However, Netij in his teens, suspected something was wrong,
enquired to his father about the prevailing atmosphere,
and the secrecy of the matter.
He was told to keep it secret that the relative returned back,
because his own wife was in grave trouble back in the town,
where the groom’s party belonged.
The unconfirmed news was that she was killed,
for she had not agreed to allow her husband to get married again,
- he wanted to marry again,
- may be unwillingly (his own relatives persuading),
- because he had no son and had some daughters only.
Netij got scared and did not know what to do and whom to tell,
or whether to tell anyone else or not at all.
The wedding was to be any how performed,
the feast was to be made at least for next one full day,
to celebrate the completion of the marriage.
The victim’s mother being told to mourn in utter seclusion that,
the murderous news should not spread at all,
to the new bride’s house, sooner or even later.
In that far away gory place the time was appropriate,
with only a handful of persons in the neighbourhood,
and there was this black night that was a dark spell sans Moon.
Since, the new groom’s party had proceeded to the other far away town,
and Darsan’s husband also not being in the place of her own house,
the time was most appropriate, for she would be all alone,
her daughters also having gone with the party.
As if the evil spirits were ‘summoned’ and were dancing for their act,
the cruel minds of the murder-plotters at their best,
she was brutally killed in sleep in her own house,
- an innocent soul slept a silent sleep with,
- yet (one more) unborn child in her womb,
- the murder of two innocent souls!
She was killed for exercising her legitimate right to be a sole wife,
and mother and a care taker of the house-family-home!
Nothing much was done to book her murderers,
since her own old and wailing mother had not agreed to do so,
in the larger interest of the victim’s daughters!
And lo! the husband got married again,
succumbing to his own relatives pressing.
8. My Grandmothers
One will give lot of foods with pure home-made butter,
And ask me to do some work for her,
And thank me profusely for doing that little only,
For she was widow and had no body to look after,
Her husband and sons no more, she over-lived all of them.
Being pious, puja and prayers will she do twice a day,
Will do fasts on festivals and live with,
Absolute minimum of the things and food.
The other would feed me with the stories of her life,
Her past experiences and so on for hours and hours,
Not bothering what will happen to me, my eardrums!
Both lived beyond eighty years,
And lived the life of sacrifices and hardships.
I wanted to serve them food and stories of my own,
When I thought I had my own house and home but,
That desire ever remained unfulfilled.
Both went on their paths to eternities,
And I still cherish the sweet memories of my association,
With these old and dignified ladies,
Who were full of love, affection, care, and enormous patience,
That today I still smell the aroma of the butter they had served,
And grossly remember the stories they told,
All tantalising my ‘genes’ of the true bonds.
9. Isnaa-A Dancer
You were gyrating around yourself in yellow,
Your cheeks were blushed with red,
Your lips were deep red without lipstick,
Your innocent, yet serpentine movements and cunning gestures,
Were surely a death-nail for a weak-minded.
10. A Young Mermaid
You are like a half: beautiful, slender and tender woman,
You are like a full reptility of a serpent,
You are like half fins of a young fish,
You are like a full softness of a dolphin,
You are a young mermaid,
With whom, far away across the breadths and lengths,
Of the ocean and deep down the depth of the ocean,
Who wouldn’t like to swim?
11. Your Aura- A Wife/Mother
Diffusing and spreading far away,
Yet with rays sharp enough and penetrating,
With its fragrance coming from a musk-deer,
Your aroma levitates me in the astral plane of your existence,
Your aura pulls me unto you,
In your domain of wonders that you are!
12. Your World Seems Like Cocoons
Fortressed with heavy iron gates that are though rusted now,
A reminder of the by-gone era of ruined Kingdoms.
You have gone into the cocoon producing silk,
- the silky love feelings, but not being honoured.
Will you wake up and come out only when they boil the cocoons?
Then it is too late, you might be spirit less, life-less,
Then the silky love will die prematurely!
13. You Are a World-Mother Nature
Believe it or not, everything is in you,
- the mind, the intellect, the thoughts,
- the wisdom, the philosophy, the spirituality.
You are the evolution in itself,
You are the feminine concept,
The life’s seed in you,
You nurture and nourish the life on this planet,
May be elsewhere too!
You as a mother-avatar in fact develop,
A complete human being in your womb,
You are the womb of life,
You are the life giver, the life provider, the life itself,
Take into your womb, redeemed who wants to be!
14. She-Cat
She bought a small cat-called her popy-sid,
The popy extended her tongue to him,
He did not respond, she felt bad and kissed the sid,
The popy jumped in excitement and fell on to him,
He had no escape but to kiss the sid,
Both the kisses merged on the same spot!
15. She-The Ravishing
Beauty was, taller, slender and tender,
The mind was too soft-on tender hooks,
A needle can burst it, and yet it will not bleed,
But will leave spots enough to shake your confidence.
16. Mortal Precious Jewel-An Angel
The jewel in the crown, you in the town,
The mortal you are, yet with shining face,
That beams confidence from the hinterland,
With ears, diamond-studded with enticing golds,
The face adorned with charming and attracting smile,
All the talents and wisdom melting in the fire of desire,
To meet and embrace the Earthen divinity that you expose,
The golden opportunities that you spell out.
17. I Want to See-My Wife
You forever living in my vicinity,
I want to see you being in my mind, my thoughts, my heart,
I want to see you living in my own-self,
I want you to be myself and myself only,
So that I do not have to search you anywhere!
18. Umidini-A Woman
Your pure white teeth, like crisp pomegranate seeds,
Your dress-sense of a damsel, your inviting hands,
Rays of care emanating from your eyes,
Why you want to kill your on-lookers?
19. Sanjaar
I came to see you, you offered a cup of tea and cool water,
With a benign smile, hoping that I will say yes to your father for you,
Alas, that thing did not happen,
After you married you invited me to your new home,
To have a tea with you,
You had married a man, who had TB-it was not declared to you,
And to others too – what a pity!
He died leaving you very young and without any child,
You again had invited me for tea,
And as usual you told your stories to me,
In presence of my wife with a benign smile,
With cool water and a cup of tea,
Your smile, patience, sacrifices,
And calmness were your true ornaments-the Shringars.
20. Ashaa-the Hope
The ashaa-the hope, and really that in you I saw,
When I saw you,
But you chose to go elsewhere,
My all hopes, ashaas, sank in a whirlpool of sighs.
21. When I
Do not see you, you tell me I have forgotten you,
And I say, no, not so, I also missed your divinity all these days,
Then you remain quite quiet,
And I remain wanting to hear your golden whispering voice.
22. Sisterly Existence
An innocent child as you were,
When we used to play and eat together,
In the days of youth, joy, be it a cold winter or hot sun.
The years rolled by, the moment of separation came,
Farewell to bid to the nearest and dearest one,
With the life of your new home to get on with.
The imprints of toil and hard work,
Through your eyes peeping now,
Making you feeble, fragile, sans any sign of remorse in your voice.
The life full of sacrifices, endurances, for the healthy integrity,
Of the other home that your own dutiful passion became,
Bearing the burden almost single handed.
Leaving behind the cherished memories of,
Innocent days and years,
That we had spent together,
You now very rich and secured with your own family,
Rambling in your own firm,
And fixed world-full of richness, and affection,
Maybe with your own vagaries of life,
That you do not communicate to us,
Keeping us ignorant forever,
Because you do not want to bother us,
With your sisterly-burden on us.
23. Eternally Beautiful-A Miraculous Feminine Existence Principle
I never knew the meaning of a smile, until you exhibited it to me,
Never knew the meaning of diamonds, until you wore on your ears,
I never knew the meaning of sparkling eyes,
Until you beamed them onto me,
Never knew the meaning of sound,
Until you sent whispering notes to my ears,
I never knew the meaning of beauty until you came into my life.
Never knew the meaning of your fingers and palms,
Until I tasted the food made by you,
I never knew the meaning of love,
Until you showered your affection on to me,
Never understood the meaning of philosophy of kindness,
Until you cared for me,
I never understood the meaning of spirituality,
Until your spiritual presence in my existence was felt.
***End,…Yet, endless existence…***
