A silent evening it was. The window of hotel room was witness of empty heart of Aanshi and dry waves in air. Aanshi fed up with thousands of thoughts running in her mind. Everything seems so silent that it looks like no one know the common language to talk. Unknowingly, she is slipping in past.
Yes, Miss Aanshi Basu: very ambitious about career. She was an engineering student of Institute of Engineering and Management. She was in last semester when thinking of having solo trip. She was topper throughout all years of engineering. Very studious, serious and smart girl. She was the only best friend of her. Dealing with people outside her world seems always task for her because of her introvert nature. She always tries to participate in crowd and every time fails. Black frame of her glass was several times become testimony of her tears.
She is having many time conversations with herself. She can talk with her about any topic in world. She has converted this stuff as a medium to be empty. Finally, the final exam has been completed of university. Everyone was waiting for result. There was a gap between last paper and exam result after completion of external team evaluation of project. After completing the last paper, she went to garden nearby her college. She seated on bench for longer time just thinking while she is like this.
Why she can’t put her strong point of view to the people? why she is so shy? Why she is waiting for her turn to come to speak? why she always stays in her own world? She had several unanswered questions.
Aanshi’s parents were very happy with her performance in study and her father was very confident about her bright career. As she returned to home, her mother did worm welcome saying “oh! my Shona. I made rasgulla specially for you today. Go Anshu! and get fresh and come for lunch downstairs then.”
Aanshi has another though process running in her mind. After having lunch everyone went for after nap except Aanshi. She really wanted to do something out of box. She took pen and paper. It was a short and very clean one note having words:
“Dear baba and ma,
I always respect you both. I did whatever you always guide me to do, but now I think it’s time for me to take some decision for myself. I know, I will do good in my career later but currently let me pause for a while for me. Please let me fly with my rules. Let me run and fall. Let me make myself as strong as I can face up anything with ease in my life. Let me ask you to put your arms open with another level of confidence when I will back. Let me breath with myself. Let me make mistakes and learn from them. Let me choose to go beyond the clouds and check another world of universe. Let me fly …….
Yours lovely,
Aanshi! “
She left. She went away with aim to find herself. Yes, it was first solo trip for her. She had no idea, where she would go? how she would go? Aanshi always kept herself comfortable domain.
She had decided to go with flow. If plan A didn’t work, alphabet has 25 more! she decided to stay positive. She came to airport and check for available flights. She lost in list and can’t decide where to go. She found Varanasi is the nearest one, after all it was her first experience of solo trip, thus she decided to go with nearest one. She had no clue for next step. Air hostess was throwing instruction, Aanshi even was not listening. She completely went in another part of world. Her mind became neutral.
At Varanasi terminal, she saw people were greeting their relative, dear and near friends. She felt very lonely. She has very unknown feeling for putting leg on unknown land of spiritual. She felt the flow of positivity inside her body.
She took taxy and googled for nearby hotel to stay. Aanshi didn’t take much luggage with her. She asked for room that has ganga view from window. It was very cold there. She garbed herself in full sleeve t-shirt sweater and jeans. After completing dinner, Aanshi went to Ganga ghat. It was dark and cold. Almost there was no one at ghat. She felt the best peace and calmness in nature she has never felt before. It was amazing experience for Aanshi. She thrilled. She had never thought of doing such unplanned thing ever.
She seated on rock for longer time, talking with silent. She came back to hotel. She can’t sleep, because of thousands of thoughts in mind. She eventually felt sleepy at 5 in morning. She has literal war in her mind.
In the morning, Aanshi took breakfast and get ready for Ganga ghat. It was completely different, the one she felt yesterday and the morning one. There were many people in ghat. Surrounding had verse of Vedas. It was so spiritual atmosphere there.
She had a spiritual trigger inside her. Who am I? why am I here? Where is my existence? Why am I so amused? Why every human being so selfish? Why only am I? where is source of positivity? Why everything is so injustice sometime? What about my existence in whole universe? Who is survivor? Who can handle life so ethically? What is Karma? Why Karma is everywhere? Who has supreme power? Who is God? Why human has pain in some sort of period of life? Why some evil people live better than good people? Who is answerable for all question I do have?
One war started in Aanshi’s mind. She had eagerness to get answers of all questions she has so far. She was directionless. She went to one saint who seated nearby her. He was doing meditation. She waited until he completed. As he open eye, Aanshi can see the priceless calmness on his face. He directly asked her that the questions you supposed to ask me, that can be answered by your soul only. Ask this questions to yourself. You fail to answer them then start an inner journey of finding them as what I have started. Only you are the one can make affords to find answers of your own questions. Remember daughter, no one can answer you on behalf of you.
Aanshi had spark inside her body. She decided to stay there and do inner journey of finding herself.
आपः शान्तिः ओषधयः शान्तिः वनस्पतयः शान्तिः
